Alas, this would also be artaxastra. I don't know anything about US law (beyond what an interested newspaper reader knows), I don't have the patience to work in an organization, and the Very Small Person would immediately notice I am not her mother by my ineptitude with children and out me as a pod woman, which would land A in jail.

You could probably fool my job by squinting hard at the computer screen, shaking your head, and tutting in a concerned fashion. If anyone asked you what was wrong, you could just frown and say that it was all very disturbing and you needed to concentrate. But there is no fooling the VSP, none at all!