Sheridan/Delenn: not being shippery about them myself, I would agree that Delenn's habit of handing Sheridan only parcels of the truth would drive me crazy if I were, but having said that, in all fairness there are other fandoms where in one case I'm totally into a relationship where one party, a trickster character, absolutely refuses to tell their pre-show backstory to the other party, so clearly that's not an absolute for me.
All it would take would be one Grey Council member, or Lennier, or Clan Leader Dude, to casually mention it one day...
Clan Leader Dude doesn't know. All he saw of Delenn's memories in the Dreaming was the moment of Dukhat's death (and what Dukhat whispered while dying), NOT what Delenn did thereafter. Canonically (as in, on screen canon), the people who know about Delenn giving the order are: a) all the members of the Grey Council at the start of the Earth/Minbari war, of whom at least one is dead (the one whom Neroon replaces in s2), b) Lennier, as of "Atonement", and c) Londo Mollari, as old Londo narrates In the Beginning, the movie about the Earth/Minbari war (I don't just mean via voice over, there's a literal framing narrative in the movie where he tells the story on screen to Urza's grandkids), showing Delenn's involvement in detail (and as there are several scenes where only Delenn was present, he has to have learned it from her), which means she must have told him at some point. Now, the Grey Council sessions are all secret - otherwise they'd never have been able to keep Sinclair's capture and interrogation and the true reason for the surrender from anyone -, and they're not supposed to talk about them with anyone. I suppose that a former Grey Council member pissed off at Delenn still could break that silence, but the taboo is there.
Lennier's spoilery action: no, that won't be it. It's more spontanous than that - if he told Sheridan this particular secret, he'd have had to think about it first.
As to why Old Londo doesn't tell Sheridan: he has other worries!
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All it would take would be one Grey Council member, or Lennier, or Clan Leader Dude, to casually mention it one day...
Clan Leader Dude doesn't know. All he saw of Delenn's memories in the Dreaming was the moment of Dukhat's death (and what Dukhat whispered while dying), NOT what Delenn did thereafter. Canonically (as in, on screen canon), the people who know about Delenn giving the order are: a) all the members of the Grey Council at the start of the Earth/Minbari war, of whom at least one is dead (the one whom Neroon replaces in s2), b) Lennier, as of "Atonement", and c) Londo Mollari, as old Londo narrates In the Beginning, the movie about the Earth/Minbari war (I don't just mean via voice over, there's a literal framing narrative in the movie where he tells the story on screen to Urza's grandkids), showing Delenn's involvement in detail (and as there are several scenes where only Delenn was present, he has to have learned it from her), which means she must have told him at some point. Now, the Grey Council sessions are all secret - otherwise they'd never have been able to keep Sinclair's capture and interrogation and the true reason for the surrender from anyone -, and they're not supposed to talk about them with anyone. I suppose that a former Grey Council member pissed off at Delenn still could break that silence, but the taboo is there.
Lennier's spoilery action: no, that won't be it. It's more spontanous than that - if he told Sheridan this particular secret, he'd have had to think about it first.
As to why Old Londo doesn't tell Sheridan: he has other worries!