ext_12659 ([identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] selenak 2006-06-28 07:45 am (UTC)

Thank you for this thorough feedback. *glows in writerly satisfaction*

The kiss is described really well, and it's neat how it plays into the later thing with Cordy

Such was my evil intention.

I adore how Fred trails off thinking of Wes and it makes Connor think of Holtz.

There wasn't exactly room for Wesley in this story, but he'd be on Fred's and Gunn's minds during that period, of course, and here the juxaposition to Holtz just made for a good allusion, with neither Fred nor Connor realizing what the other is reminded of.

There's lots of cool parts which emphasize Connor's denial about his more complicated feelings about Angel.

He's never able to either just hate or just love (not that the later would be an option at this particular point) Angel, and that makes it so confusing to him that denial gets the default mode with dealing, and that doesn't work, either.

Again, thank you for the detailed comment!

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