A Day In The Life

December Talking Meme: Fandom (history, turn-ons, turn-offs)

2014-12-04T11:35:56Z

Or, as the prompt puts it: My feelings about fandom - what originally drew me to it,what keeps me there, what turns me off.

While I've been fannish about certain books, writers, movies and tv shows - and some music - all my life, fandom was something I only discovered in my early 20s. Inevitably (for me) via Star Trek, which was going through a revitalization in the early 90s. TNG had taken off and after that awkward first season and a half had found its own voice. DS9 was either in the works or had already just debuted, I can't pinpoint the year and since I'm sitting in the train, googling it would take eons. The internet hadn't arrived yet (for me), so my very first convention - FedCon in Bonn, which even then was the biggest in Germany - was also the first time I met fellow Star Trek fans who were excited about the new show(s) instead of holding to the There Is Only One True Trek credo, and wanted to talk about the show(s) and characters. (Actually, this was the first time I met any other ST fans, full stop. In school, the only thing my classmates semed to talk about were the Neue Deutsche Welle musicians.) This was fabulous, especially for someone like me who had spent her adolescence having zilch idea how to interact with other people and had felt either awkward or bored or both at any type of social gathering. This was also where I got introduced to fanfiction, via fanzines, which I bought in fascination.

As the 90s progressed, I did get online, and thereby got introduced to another very appealing aspect of fandom: that shared enthusiasm for something could lead to discovering other tv shows/films/books as well. My first online fandom was Highlander, which led to befriending some fellow fans who were enthusiastic about some show with an incredibly hokey name called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and others who kept telling me about an old British tv show called Blake's 7. One fellow fan kept raving about this new Sci Fi show Farscappe Then there was the generosity of many fans: I remember kathyh sending me Buffy and Angel episodes on video from England (both shows were broadcast in Germany as well, but usually a year or two behind the American broadcast whereas the Britis got it only months later or simultanously, I can't remember which), watervole sending me a video of the old miniseries Morgan's Boy starring Gareth Thomas which since it wasn't available on sale anywhere I'd never have had the chance to watch otherwise. And the creativity that showed both via fanfiction - often comparing very favourably to the official tie-ins - and fan videos was inspiring. I got over my cold feet and started to experiment with writing stories in English. Finding out I could write fiction in a language not my own, just as I could debate in it, was another great feeling.

A lot of this still holds true as to what makes fandom - any fandom - appealing to me. Being able to share enthusiasm, learning about new things, debating, getting creative, enjoying the creativity of others. But participation in fandom also inevitably introduced me to its far less enjoyable sides. Highlander wasn't just my first online fandom, it was also my first experience with what was and is by no means unique to HL - double standards for male and female characters, fannish hatred, bashing and demonizing of one particular female character because she had the bad taste to have excellent cause to hate the most popular male character in the fandom. Discovering slash via those early ST fanzines had been exciting; discovering online that any woman perceived as "coming between them" (be it because she was the canonical love interest of either party or for some other reason) got a lot of fannish bile directed at her got more and more disconcerting. (This was already true for fictional characters who never existed. But good lord, when I started to get into Beatles fandom for real...)

In the last decade, another type of turn-off online fandom phenomenon became more and more apparant to me, which I guess is the shadow side of the ability to share enthusiasm and to rally to causes. It's the tendency to mass jump on virtual throats, complete with dealing exclusively in hyperboles (everything is "The Worst!"), often using social justice language to dress up what to me often looked like cyber bullying in a righteous robe. (The current cause celèbre Winterfox/Requires Hate is anything but new or unique in this regard.) Fandom seems to have an amazing capacity for hate as well as generosity and support, and there is an echo hall effect to both.

Being a multifandom person with fluctuating enthusiasms instead of a One True Fandom person means a larger area to evade both the bashing and the must-destroy-the-sinner types of hate, but one inevitably comes across both variants again sooner or later. And if fandom introduced me to some of the smarted, kindest and most creative people I've had the privilege to meet (either virtually or in rl), it also introduced me to some of the most unpleasant and vicious. Which I suppose reflects humanity, and did by no means only arrive with the internet. One famous 19th century theatre anecdote involves fans of one actor burning down the theatre of his rival, after all. I doubt this made other people quit the theatre altogether, and I can't imagine quitting fandom, either. But every now and then, I feel like backing off... with the knowledge that I will be back.

December Talking Meme: The Other Days

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Ugh

2012-09-12T07:17:02Z

I hate bullies. Internet bullies who believe they're propagating "social justice" while doing their bullying are a particularly revolting suspecies. God knows I have my own criticisms of Moffat's writings, but death threats? With an added low of also going after twelve-years Caitlin Blackwood, who plays young Amelia Pond? What she said.

Not that this is new. I'm reminded of the internet back in Children of Earth, Day 4 and after time, when it were RTD and James Moran, but then Rusty wasn't on Twitter. Or going back to the Buffy days, those charmers who wished miscarriage on Marti Noxon when she was pregnant because they hated seasons 6 and 7 of BTVS.

Fandom can be fantastic to be in, but every now and then it makes you recall that "fan" comes from "fanatic", and not in a good way.

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Those were the days, my friend...

2012-04-11T07:50:17Z

Finished my queer_fest Babylon 5 story last night; it's off to be beta'd, but the posting date isn't until June 1st, so there's no hurry. Going back to the B5verse once in a while, and in this case specifically to the Centauri, with Vir at the center of it, feels like getting back into very comfortable worn slippers. Though due to the prompt I was actually able to do something with the Centauri that I hadn't done before, so - old slippers with new soles? (And now I'm nearly at Londo's dancing metaphor from s1, Great Maker, as he would say.) Anyway, the other reason why writing it, delving back into the B5 verse felt so great is that it was and as far as I know still is blessedly free of shipper wars. Of course, no sooner have I written this that I expect someone to tell me that I'm wrong about this and that I totally missed the epic battles between Susan/Talia and Susan/Marcus shippers, or the mighty war between John/Delenn and Delenn/Lennier shippers, due to not hanging out in the Ivanova or Minbari centric corners of fandom enough in my Centauri and Narn centric fannish life, but - I really don't think that's how B5 fandom spent its time, back in the day, or spends its time now.

(Every time I feel like growling "a pox on romance and our cultural obsession with it that poisons storylines and fannish discourse", though, I remind myself that I'm not immune, that there are romances both textual and subtextual I was/am rooting for and enjoy(ed), and that some of these are probably just as annoying or incomprehensible in their attraction to other people.)

(I will say that I remain eternally grateful Londo was not played by a hot young actor but the divine and decidedly middle aged, plumb and not at all pretty Peter Jurasik. It meant the "omg why so mean to the hottie!?!? Death score what death score?!? Must pair him with *insert character also played by young and attractive actor*!!" crowd stayed away from what is still my favourite fall and redemption storyline on tv.)

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With two movies about to be released and a third finished with an uncertain release date, Joss Whedon seems to get interviewed basically everywhere you turn. Now love him, hate him or remain utterly indifferent, but one advantage the man has is being eminently quotable (not many writers who can write witty dialogue are also able to make it up on the spot, so I'm suitably impressed). My favourite quote from the current crop of interviews is probably:

Q: You've been said to encourage fanfiction. How do you feel about scholarship about your work and the fact that academics tend to delve quite deeply into it, perhaps to the point of publishing interpretations you did not intend?

A: All worthy work is open to interpretations the author did not intend. Art isn't your pet -- it's your kid. It grows up and talks back to you.

He's always been consistent about this, which makes the "Let's take *character X*/*show universe Y* from the evil/incompetent Whedon" or "Joss needs to learn fannish interpretation is so superior" posts feel a bit like teenagers casting themselves as daring and rebellious when their parents, far from forbidding them to go out, are in fact encouraging them to stay up until dawn and make their own experiences. It's not something inherent or original to Whedonverse fandoms, of course, but something I've observed everywhere, though not every creator or people-in-charge-of-fannish-source-copyrights are as laid back about fannish discourse. And nothing feeds the fannish sense of outraged moral superiority so much as a creator/author/person-in-charge-of-copyright who gets possessive/protective of their characters (and extremer cases is silly enough to get into arguments with reviewers on message boards, looking at you, Aaron Sorkin). They are the man, we are the true, far better artists and interpreters of *insert character/fannish source*, and, that golden stalwart of posts, "should just shut up".

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Speaking of interactions between fannish interpretations and their source, in the last few days a tumblr containing hilarious fictional Hillary Clinton texts has been linked all over the internet. With the results that Hillary Clinton saw it as well, made a submission of her own and invited the two fan creators to meet her. Which they did. It occurs to me that if the online media are anything to go buy (always a qualified if), Hillary in the years of the Obama presidency has ended up as the most popular (living) Democrat politician. Which I don't think would have happened had she won the primaries and become President (not least because a sitting President even in a best case scenario is bound to disappoint some expectations of their electorate), but there it is. Not a bad note to go out on, if she really retires after her current term.

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Fandom meme

2012-02-28T10:31:36Z

From various people on my flist, most lately ruuger:

First ~~TV show~~ fandom I had self-insertion fantasies about: Probably Karl May's novels, which were the first ones I read as a child. I was totally up for adventuring with Winnetou, chief of the Apaches. Now, by the time I saw Lawrence of Arabia on tv, I was twelve and hormones were kicking in, so my self insertion fantasy there definitely included romance. Undeterred by the lack of female characters and the lack of knowledge about slash, my twelve years old self simply gifted Ali (Omar Sharif's character) with a sister who promptly married Lawrence. (Thankfully I never wrote any of this down.) (I didn't have to have self insertion fantasies about Star Trek which was my biggest fandom from my childhood and teenage years because movie canon gave me Saavik, whom teenage me decided to identify with completely. Spock's protegé! Half Romulan, half Vulcan! Doesn't fall for Kirk! Why, we were practically twins.)

First fandom in which I interacted (online and in person) with other fans: In person, Star Trek. I went to conventions, bought the zines, had the debates, volunteered for quizzes, etc. Online, Highlander.

Pairing in the first slash fanfiction I read: Either Garak/Bashir or Picard/Q, I honestly don't remember which one I read first (in one of those zines I had bought at FedCon), but one of these two.

First fanfiction I read that made me think, 'YES, this is exactly the kind of fanfiction I'd like to write...': Hmmmm. None of those early ST (any ST) tales struck me that way, but I remember by the time I got online and was majorly into HL, McGeorge's post season 5 finale epic impressed the hell out of me. It had plot (a more impressive one than the s6 canon resolution, so that was my first experience with the fanfic-did-it-better phenomenon, too), great characterisation for everyone (and used Joe and Amanda in addition to Duncan and Methos, as opposed to being solely D/M), and a well integrated OC. It was the first time fanfic really impressed me instead of just being a fun addition to fannish life, but I'm not sure it was in the "I wish I could write like that" way. Kat Allison's stories a bit later definitely had that effect, though. Last Set Before Closing was just so mercilessly good and unafraid to go up against beloved fanon assumptions while being entirely plausible characterisation that it had the "YES" effect in addition to the "damn, that's good!" effect.

Pairing in the first fanfiction I wrote: Oddly enough, the first fanfiction I wrote was entirely gen and dealt with a messed up family relationship. (That was sarcasm; I'm mainly a gen writer, though I do the occasional slash or het centric tale now and then, and messed up families are my thing.) Genuinenly oddly, it wasn't in any of my main fandoms at the time. It was a Star Wars story, and I was only ever mildly entertained by SW in my teens and didn't really get into it until much later when the prequels came around. But still, the first fanfiction I ever wrote was about Luke transitioning from "Noooooo...." in Empire Strikes Back re: that revelation by Vader to accepting the truth of it in Return of the Jedi. Years later, when bimo created her website for German fanfiction, it came in handy and I sent it to her, and that's how we "met".

First OTP: Garak/Bashir. How do I know it was an OTP? Because I felt very disgruntled when canon stopped giving us Garak/Bashir scenes while continuing to give us Bashir/O'Brien ones, to the degree that sometimes I gave poor Miles the stinky eye when he was on screen with the good doctor. I had yet to develop the maturity of being a multishipper.*g*

First RPS/F OTP: Henry II/Eleanor of Aquitaine. Basically I watched The Lion in Winter as a sixteen years old, was spell bound and started to do research. I guess you could blame my fondness for frenemies who start as friends/allies/lovers/insert appropriate name of close relationship/ and become enemies while still having a deeper understanding of each other than they have of anyone else in their lives on James Goldman and the Plantagenents. Also Katherine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole. What else happened in my late teenage years and my early twenties? Why, I started to read Beatles biographies, after having grown up with the music but knowing nothing about the people behind it. So you can probably guess the effect discovering the two main songwriters went from best friends-plus-rivals to having a very public divorce (thus termed by both of them) to having a delicate truce that could include support as well as arguments had on me.

First fannish friend I met in person: Discounting everyone whom I met in person first, it was kathyh. We "met" in Highlander and shared many a fandom ever since. Also she lives in Croydon near London which means I can see her when visiting the British capital.

First character I formally roleplayed: Londo Mollari. Ah, those were the theatrical_muse days....

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Fannish 5: Gratitude

2011-11-26T10:31:22Z

5 fandom-related things you are thankful for.
(Feel free to interpret this however you wish: thankful for a sequel, thankful for no sequel, thankful for a kink meme, thankful character X got a good death, thankful actor Z is going to be in QRS, etc.)

My pleasure. Let's see:

1.) Being Human, season 3. After feeling so-so about season 1 and being so infuriated by a lot of s2 I was not sure whether or not to continue, season 3 proved to be as amazing an example of unjumping the shark/growing the beard as they come. Consequences got served, relentlessly. Characters I had lost sympathy for regained them (with one exception, and that was part of the seasonal point), characters I already loved were even more awesome while still remaining capable of their own mistakes. In short, season 3 rocked. And before you ask, yes, I know about the other casting spoiler, and that's regrettable, but we'll always have the amazing season 3.

2. Raven/Mystique in X-Men: First Class. Actually, I'm grateful for the whole film, which despite the flaws revitalized not just my own enthusiasm for the movieverse, but what I'm more grateful for than for any other aspect is Raven, not least because as opposed to the Charles/Erik slashiness, her part in XMFC was something I had not expected, so from the moment the trailers indicated she would have a major role and that she and Charles met each other as children, I never stopped being pleasantly surprised. Not only did her role here took the bad taste out of my mouth her treatment in X3 had left, but the whole finding herself arc plus the sibling relationship with Charles hit several of my favourite narrative kinks. Lastly: the fact she didn't just name herself but Erik and Charles as well will never not make me happy.

3.) Ficathons, their organizers and participants, not limited to but exemplified by Remix and Yuletide. Without them, a lot of the fannish joy and interaction would be missing, not to mention personal challenges to me as a writer, and I really, really appreciate them.

4.) The Borgias. Thank you, Neil Jordan. It was everything I hoped it would be, full of Renaissance atmosphere, with great performances and beautiful cinematography, using its ensemble instead of wasting it, and above all, had interesting female characters with interesting relationships to each other, not just the men in their lives.

5.) Feedback even on old stories. No matter whether it's a short "great story", or a lengthy analysis, I'm pleased as punch everytime someone leaves a comment on one of my stories. ( Excepting the occasional "why did you make William gay?" weirdness.) It's something specific to the internet age and fannish interaction that I treasure, and when it happens to old stories, it also evokes the glow of nostalgia to boot.

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On things you hear from convention reports, and an old letter

2011-02-22T07:26:24Z

You know, now and then I've always thought it was a pity that in my convention going days I never was at one with a Once More With Feeling (from BTVS) singalong. Now I'm glad I never was if this experience is typical, which I hope it's not, but then going by the number of comments who missed the point the blogger made by delving into declaring their Dawn hate and why the real life teenage girl bullied at the event just had to toughen up are anything to go by. (Make sure to also read the excellent follow up post.) Now I loved Dawn on BTVS (still do, in fact), but I hope I'd be as disgusted if the bullied teenage girl had been defending a character I don't like (say, Bill Adama). You just don't treat other people this way.

On a happier note and also from a convention report, a transcript from Jane Espenson's and Doris Egan's panel about writing for Torchwood. Both ladies had lots of interesting things to say. And, not surprisingly given who they are, funny things. Highlights about the occasional British/American culture clash of the writers:

JANE:
In the story we will be playing with miscommunication and culture shock, Welsh characters in America and vice versa. [To Doris.] Remember the vest discussion between us and Russell? [To us.] Russell said the character was wearing his vest and I said I thought they didn’t have that word. “What do you think we say?” I thought they said waistcoat. Russell said a waistcoat is part of a three-piece suit. I asked him what a vest is, and he described it, and I said, “Oh that’s a wifebeater.”* And Russell said, “That can’t be right!” It took ten minutes, and we had to draw pictures!

DORIS:
We thought one of our cowriters was Scottish.

JANE:
Turns out the Liverpudlian accent has changed since the Beatles.

(You know I had to include that reference. BTW, when Paul's younger brother Michael heard them on tv for the first time, he teased Paul by asking "Why do you all suddenly sound like George on a bad day?" They did exaggarate the accent in the early days a tad.)

Also:

MODERATOR:
Was CoE the high mark you were aiming for?

JANE:
Yeah, we were told to do that, plus more arc.

DORIS:
I was happy and relieved. But it’s a challenge. Can you even get as intense as CoE?

JANE:
Hard act to follow. Some people care about children. [Laughter] How do you top it? But Russell had been rolling this idea around for some time before connecting it with TW, so he had developed some ideas.

And:

AUDIENCE QUESTION:
Do writers get typecast?

JANE:
Yeah. Comedy versus drama is the biggest.

DORIS:
People forget what else you can do. When I started I’d only done SF novels. My agent wanted to get me on an SF show, but I felt ghetto-ized. I liked that my first job was not SF, because I didn’t want to be typecast. But after House, it was kind of the opposite. They assumed I wouldn’t do genre. “Can you do a show about lawyers?” “How about lawyers who are aliens?”

Also they mention RTD's "hooray!" habit which if you've ever heard him do an audio commentary with one of the other writers or producers you're familiar with. In short, now that does sound like the kind of convention event I'd have loved to attend!

*I never stop being disturbed Americans call a certain type of t-shirt "wifebeater".

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Ever since hearing about her crowning moment of awesome, when she knocked out the crazy fan who tried to stab George with a knife, I was impressed with Olivia Harrison, his second wife. Now I've got an additional reason to which also made me smile. Backstory: as Janet Malcolm observes in her book on the Plath/Hughes biographical industry, The Silent Woman, in every feud there is one party which seems to get loathed from all sides. Not necessarily an important player, but someone. As far as Beatles biographies are concerned, that person is, no, not Albert Goldman, but Geoffrey Guiliano. I've got no idea why him more than anyone else because there are certainly plenty of other candidates around, but Guiliano gets the ire from John, Paul, George and Ringo camps alike. Not only that, but after he published his George biography, Dark Horse, he inspired the following furious letter by Olivia to the Guardian, printed on October 8, 1992, taking massive offense in particular about Guiliano's description of, wait for it.... Paul:

"The sight of Geoffrey Giuliano's face is enough to make anyone a recluse. My husband once made the remark: "That guy knows more about my life than I do." Mr. Giuliano missed the joke and used it to endorse his book. To rate himself as the world's greatest rock 'n' roll biographer (a laughable title in the first place) is nothing but delusion. He has only ever been in the vicinity of my husband for about ten minutes and considers himself an expert. He parades as a spiritual person while condemning the famous, yet without them his achievements in this life wouldn't rate one line in any newspaper. To judge Paul McCartney as "vacuous and shallow" after all Paul has written and offered to the world is surely the judgement of an arrogant mind, especially as Giuliano's own recognition is not because he is creative, but because like a starving dog, he scavenges from his heroes, picking up bits of gristle and sinew along the way, repackaging them for consumption by a gullible public. I'm sick of this guy.
Olivia Harrison (Mrs. George)
Henley-on-Thames

Go, Olivia. (Also, since that letter was written a decade before George's death, I'm assuming he agreed with the general content.)

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