Filk Time!

[selenak]

Okay, here it is: the musical part of the missing Trio scene from Once More, With Feeling. I still need the dialogue before and after (looking at you here, andrastewhite).


THE BALLAD OF THE STAR TREK CAPTAINS
(Melody: "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" from Sweeney Todd, by Stephen Sondheim)



JONATHAN:
The greatest Captain was Picard
His voice was great and his head was bald
He faced the Borg, and even when
They ever hereafter were heard of again
They still were cool when he faced them
The great Picard
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

WARREN:
But Kirk scored chicks in space galore
He never argued, always wore
That phaser by which battles were saved
A bluff or two, and the enemy caved
Before him - James T. Kirk
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

ANDREW
Janeway wasn't bad, either -
She had shiny hair...

JONATHAN AND WARREN
Shut up or beware!

JONATHAN
His needs were few, his room was bare
A gold fish bowl and a fancy chair
A flute and books on archaeology
An educated man was he
Negotiations were his art
Jean-Luc Picard
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

WARREN
Torture-immune and cool he was,
Kick-ass and clever and winning all wars.
Kirk didn't talk, he was all action -

JONATHAN (interrupting)
Picard pondered, and Picard planned
Like an intelligent man, he planned.
WARREN
James T. was smooth, James T. was subtle
James T. would blink, and Klingons would scuttle.
James T., James T., James T., James T., James T.

ANDREW
You two don't mention Sisko ; odd
Because he did become a god.

WARREN AND JONATHAN
Don't make us cry or rather yell!

ANDREW
And Archer has a dog as well!

WARREN
James T.!

JONATHAN
Jean-Luc Picard!

ANDREW, JONATHAN AND WARREN
The greatest Captain of Starfleet!


Other news: I've aquired Thelma and Louise on DVD, which includes an audio commentary by Ridley Scott, a separate one with Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis and Callie Khouri (the script writer), deleted scenes etc. Will write on this jewel in the next entry.

Comments

[cadesama.livejournal.com]

Very cool! Now I only wish I'd had ever before heard that song so I'd know the tune.

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

I read that filk to the tune of the song in the Prancing Pony in the LOTR animated film by Bakshi, so it probably didn't have the desired effect.

***

And now it's my turn to pale with envy. I have Thelma & Louise on DVD, but I bought the older edition a couple of years ago with only a commentary by Ridley Scott & an alternate ending. I am miffed they only released a track with Davis, Sarandon and Khouri now, frell it. It should be the best thing in the package, aside from the movie. I hope they let them record the commentary together, mind you. It irked me that the actresses' commentary on The Hours was a cut and paste job, and it would really suck if they'd done the same to T&L (which is way, way, way, waaaay better than The Hours).

[thran.livejournal.com]

Well, of course Sisko was the greatest center of a Trek show, but he wasn't ever a Captain, so that's okay. :)

Oh, and in other news? I'm watching Blakes 7 again! Got all the tapes from Mom when I was home! Ah, the memories.

[molly_may]

Hee! That was great. I would pay good money to see the Trio perform that.

[debxena.livejournal.com]

Bwah! That was brilliant. Ah, Picard ...

Picard!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Totally agree with Jonathan, as usual. I like my Bald-Headed Man, with his sexy voice and his amazing acting ability. James T was all right in his way, but Jean-Luc is where it's *at*!

And you, m'dear, are amazingly charming and funny. No wonder I'm your sidekick.

And now you've got me wondering...

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

...how did Andrew come up with the idea of summoning a musical demon in the first place?

I don't know what you and Andraste have come up with to explain that, but this is my theory:

I suspect that Andrew was bored with all the fights about whether Warren or Jonathan was in charge, and tired of all the unresolved sexual tension between him and Warren. So he headed down to L.A. one night, while the other two were talking about something suitably geeky: debating which was superior--Golden Age Batman or Silver Age Batman, trying to determine the exact quantum mechanics formula that permitted Dr. Sam Beckett to Leap, discussing how Anakin Skywalker evolved into Darth Vader...that kind of thing. Frankly, I doubt if they even noticed Andrew was gone.

As I imagine it, Andrew got lost and wound up on the demon side of L.A.. By a stroke of luck, he wandered into the one safe building in the neighborhood--Caritas.

Andrew saw all the demons and supernatural beings just poring their hearts out to Lorne (who I feel certain appealed strongly to Andrew, except that Andrew was carrying a torch for Warren at that time).

And Andrew said to himself, "Wow! A musical, anagogic demon! Man, Sunnydale could use a guy like that; that town is just surrounded by denial and lies. I wonder what Sunnydale would be like if all the lies stopped, and everyone just sang out what they really thought and felt. If we only had a demon like that..."

So, of course, Andrew searched in tomes and grimoires till he found a way to summon "a demon like that," i.e., Sweet. And because Andrew was so impatient to free himself and Sunnydale from mendacity, he didn't check the fine print.

Does that sound feasible?

[watervole]

I don't know Sweeny Todd, but the rhythms remind me of Gilbert and Sullivan.