Filk Time!

[selenak]

Okay, here it is: the musical part of the missing Trio scene from Once More, With Feeling. I still need the dialogue before and after (looking at you here, andrastewhite).


THE BALLAD OF THE STAR TREK CAPTAINS
(Melody: "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" from Sweeney Todd, by Stephen Sondheim)



JONATHAN:
The greatest Captain was Picard
His voice was great and his head was bald
He faced the Borg, and even when
They ever hereafter were heard of again
They still were cool when he faced them
The great Picard
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

WARREN:
But Kirk scored chicks in space galore
He never argued, always wore
That phaser by which battles were saved
A bluff or two, and the enemy caved
Before him - James T. Kirk
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

ANDREW
Janeway wasn't bad, either -
She had shiny hair...

JONATHAN AND WARREN
Shut up or beware!

JONATHAN
His needs were few, his room was bare
A gold fish bowl and a fancy chair
A flute and books on archaeology
An educated man was he
Negotiations were his art
Jean-Luc Picard
The greatest Captain of Starfleet

WARREN
Torture-immune and cool he was,
Kick-ass and clever and winning all wars.
Kirk didn't talk, he was all action -

JONATHAN (interrupting)
Picard pondered, and Picard planned
Like an intelligent man, he planned.
WARREN
James T. was smooth, James T. was subtle
James T. would blink, and Klingons would scuttle.
James T., James T., James T., James T., James T.

ANDREW
You two don't mention Sisko ; odd
Because he did become a god.

WARREN AND JONATHAN
Don't make us cry or rather yell!

ANDREW
And Archer has a dog as well!

WARREN
James T.!

JONATHAN
Jean-Luc Picard!

ANDREW, JONATHAN AND WARREN
The greatest Captain of Starfleet!


Other news: I've aquired Thelma and Louise on DVD, which includes an audio commentary by Ridley Scott, a separate one with Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis and Callie Khouri (the script writer), deleted scenes etc. Will write on this jewel in the next entry.

Comments

[cadesama.livejournal.com]

Very cool! Now I only wish I'd had ever before heard that song so I'd know the tune.

Get the CD of the musical

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Believe me, Sondheim is always worth it.

P.S. And also:

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Here are the lyrics for the original song:

"The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" from Sweeney Todd




Chorus: Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale, and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few had trod,
did Sweeney Todd,
the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

He kept a shop in London Town
of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their Maker impeccably shaved
by Sweeney, by Sweeney Todd
the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Swing your razor wide, Sweeney,
hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.

His needs were few, his room was bare:
a lavabo and a fancy chair,
a mug of suds and a leather strop,
an apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.
For neatness he deserved a nod,
did Sweeney Todd,
the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Inconspicuous, Sweeney was,
quick and quiet and clean, he was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered, and Sweeney planned,
like a perfect machine, he planned.
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle
Sweeney would blink, and rats would scuttle.
Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney!

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
He served a dark and hungry god.
To seek revenge may lead to hell,
but everyone does it, and seldom as well
as Sweeney
as Sweeney Todd
the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

I read that filk to the tune of the song in the Prancing Pony in the LOTR animated film by Bakshi, so it probably didn't have the desired effect.

***

And now it's my turn to pale with envy. I have Thelma & Louise on DVD, but I bought the older edition a couple of years ago with only a commentary by Ridley Scott & an alternate ending. I am miffed they only released a track with Davis, Sarandon and Khouri now, frell it. It should be the best thing in the package, aside from the movie. I hope they let them record the commentary together, mind you. It irked me that the actresses' commentary on The Hours was a cut and paste job, and it would really suck if they'd done the same to T&L (which is way, way, way, waaaay better than The Hours).

[thran.livejournal.com]

Well, of course Sisko was the greatest center of a Trek show, but he wasn't ever a Captain, so that's okay. :)

Oh, and in other news? I'm watching Blakes 7 again! Got all the tapes from Mom when I was home! Ah, the memories.

Wooho on the B7, but...

[selenak.livejournal.com]

...Sisko was a Captain starting with season 3 when they gave him the Defiant to command. (You need a starship to be one.) He only started out as Commander.

(There is a reason I fell for the Trio, clearly.)

Incidentally, I think DS9 is the best consistently-well written of the Trek shows, and do like Sisko, but my favourite Captain will always be Picard. As andrastewhite puts it: "But! Patrick!"

[molly_may]

Hee! That was great. I would pay good money to see the Trio perform that.

If you want to read more of Nerds: The Musical...

[selenak.livejournal.com]

...hop over to andrastewhite`s journal - she just posted her first contribution to this project...

[debxena.livejournal.com]

Bwah! That was brilliant. Ah, Picard ...

Picard!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Totally agree with Jonathan, as usual. I like my Bald-Headed Man, with his sexy voice and his amazing acting ability. James T was all right in his way, but Jean-Luc is where it's *at*!

And you, m'dear, are amazingly charming and funny. No wonder I'm your sidekick.

And now you've got me wondering...

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

...how did Andrew come up with the idea of summoning a musical demon in the first place?

I don't know what you and Andraste have come up with to explain that, but this is my theory:

I suspect that Andrew was bored with all the fights about whether Warren or Jonathan was in charge, and tired of all the unresolved sexual tension between him and Warren. So he headed down to L.A. one night, while the other two were talking about something suitably geeky: debating which was superior--Golden Age Batman or Silver Age Batman, trying to determine the exact quantum mechanics formula that permitted Dr. Sam Beckett to Leap, discussing how Anakin Skywalker evolved into Darth Vader...that kind of thing. Frankly, I doubt if they even noticed Andrew was gone.

As I imagine it, Andrew got lost and wound up on the demon side of L.A.. By a stroke of luck, he wandered into the one safe building in the neighborhood--Caritas.

Andrew saw all the demons and supernatural beings just poring their hearts out to Lorne (who I feel certain appealed strongly to Andrew, except that Andrew was carrying a torch for Warren at that time).

And Andrew said to himself, "Wow! A musical, anagogic demon! Man, Sunnydale could use a guy like that; that town is just surrounded by denial and lies. I wonder what Sunnydale would be like if all the lies stopped, and everyone just sang out what they really thought and felt. If we only had a demon like that..."

So, of course, Andrew searched in tomes and grimoires till he found a way to summon "a demon like that," i.e., Sweet. And because Andrew was so impatient to free himself and Sunnydale from mendacity, he didn't check the fine print.

Does that sound feasible?

Cool theory!

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Will report it to Andraste post haste. Her already written dialogue for this section is based on the premise that yes, Andrew didn't read the fine print, but basically just thought it would keep Buffy distracted from going after the Troika if she had to sing and dance. The gigantic logic flaw here is pointed out to him by the others immediately once he confesses, but alas, too late for Sunnydale.

Meanwhile, I've written another lyric, this time for the framing of Xander scene. See lj.

P.S.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Told andrastewhite of your idea for Andrew's motivation, and she loves it. Thank you! Our musical masterpiece is almost complete (Jonathan's, Andrew's and Warren's solos are written), only awaiting the final group song.

[watervole]

I don't know Sweeny Todd, but the rhythms remind me of Gilbert and Sullivan.

[selenak]

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd, aka the original of this song.

[watervole]

It does have a kind of G and S feel. Something to do with the pitch of the songs and the way the chorus are used. Interesting.

Have you seen any Gilbert and Sullivan?