selenak: (uptonogood - c.elisa)
1. Norma Bates (Bates Motel version)

2. Philip Jennings (The Americans)

3. Missy (aka Gomez!Master) (Doctor Who)

4. Jimmy McGill (Better Call Saul)

5. Rachel Duncan (Orphan Black)

6. James McGraw/Captain Flint (Black Sails)

7. Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

8. Bernie Gunther (Philip Kerr: The Bernie Gunther Mysteries)

9. Sarah Connor (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

10. Alfred of Wessex (The Last Kingdom)

11. Andra'ath/Miss Quill (Class)

12. Londo Mollari (Babylon 5)

13. Phyllis Crane (Call the Midwife)

14. Doc Holliday (Wynona Earp incarnation)

15. Jessica Jones (MCU version)

And you came up with some awesome prompts!

Now the questions: )
selenak: (Scarlett by Olde_fashioned)
I've acquired new fandoms and revisited some old ones since the last time I did this, thus, from [personal profile] astrogirl:

1) Make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment.

2) Ask your f-list to post questions in the comments. For example: "One, nine, and fifteen are chosen by a prophecy to save the world from four. Do they succeed?", "Under what circumstances might five and fourteen fall in love?", "Which character on the list would you most want on your side in a zombie invasion?"

3) After your f-list has stopped asking questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.

Also, this unique summary of A Legacy Of Spies cracks me up. :)
selenak: (LondoGkar)
Spotted this meme, and did it for one of the few OTPs I actually have: Londo/G'Kar 4eva!

Here are some winter-related questions about your OTP! Enjoy!

1: Who makes the other hot chocolate?

Neither. The correct answer to this question is, of course: Vir!

2: Who knits the other a seasonal sweater?

No, not Vir, and don't even dare to ask Na'Toth. Londo, being a fashion-conscious Centauri, wouldn't inflict something on himself that either he or G'Kar manufactured. However, he considers scarfs to be an Earth origin article with suitable aesthetics and warming quality for both Narn and Centauri. He therefore ordered several (for himself, G'kar and Vir) and billed the whole thing to Centauri Prime claiming it was expense to promote Human-Centauri trade relations.

3: Who’s family hosts a bigger holiday gathering? What’s the gathering like for your OTP?

G'Kar doesn't have biological family, because they were all killed by Centauri, if you care to ask. And he'd never inflict Londo on those Narn still alive he feels somewhat close to. Londo, otoh, would like to point out that nobody throws bigger (or better) parties than the Centauri, regardless of the occasion. As for his family: on Centauri Prime, there are Timov and his dead friend Ursa's children whom he adopted into House Mollari as promised, on Babylon 5, there's Vir, and though Timov declares him to be madder than usual, he did invite everyone to the Centauri feast of the new year between seasons 4 and 5 - on the station, not wanting to push his luck since his reconciliation with G'Kar was still rather recent. As for what it was like for them: the three way snark between Londo, G'Kar and Timov still sells as a recording, because someone who shall remain nameless had the bright idea to tape, err, crystal-conserve it, making a small fortune of the result. Londo later declared it to be one of the most stimulating nights of his life. Make of that what you will.

4: How would your OTP react to having a snow day?

G'Kar isn't too keen on snow until he's introduced to the concept of snowball fights. A part of him wants to comment that the waste of water is a very Centauri thing to do. The other part is busy throwing snowballs at Londo.

5: Who offers the other one their jacket?

Londo's jackets would not fit G'Kar, and besides, there's a whole pyschological minefield there because during the occupation, the Centauri used to dress their "decorative servants" up somewhat. Otoh, if the two of them were, say, trapped in a cold place together, G'Kar would declare that "if it means your incessant prattling will stop", Londo could have his coat, and upon Londo's refusal would add "the sound your chattering teeth make is even more annoying than the sound of your voice, Mollari, so take the coat!"

6: Who makes a snowman that looks like the other member of your OTP, or do they both do this?

They both do that, long before they become an item, in those climate zones on the station that feature snow. The mocking potential is enormous, after all. "Leave it to you to find a way to get your hands on Londo that doesn't get you in a cell", was Michael Garibaldi's comment.

7: Does your OTP ever have snowball fights?

See above. Of course they do.

8: What gifts would they get each other for the holidays?

Londo has prepared a very special edition of the Book of G'Kar. One with his footnotes and comments on G'Kar's wise utterings. G'Kar observes that since this means Londo actually read his book, Londo already has received a gift. That he happens to have prepared a meal he's cooked himself that can be consumed by Centauri as well is sheer coincidence.

9: How do they spend their winter holiday? Do they even celebrate the same holiday?

On the one hand, no, since the Narn made it a point of pride not to accept Centauri calendar years, and their belief systems are completely different anway. HOWEVER, on Babylon 5 they got into the habit of celebrating their New Year's days when the humans did. It was one of Sinclair's earliest brokered compromises, and it stuck.

10: What sort of seasonal treats does your OTP like to eat?

Since they can never agree on flarn, and human sweets are tricky for Centauri, they stick to fluids, or to be more precise, to the fine holiday brivari enjoyable to both of them.

11: How do they spend New Year’s Eve?

See above. Definitely in a verbose way. Whether Londo's tentacles also get involved, not even Galaxy Gaby knows, though they claim to.

12: Who initiates the New Year’s kiss?

G'Kar. He says it's only to shut Londo up, of course.

13: Who tries to get a secret gift for the other one for Valentine’s Day?

G'Kar found out about this human holiday because it was an excellent opportunity to hit on human women; Londo found out about it when stationed on Earth as part of the Centauri delegation because Mariel always had some beautiful jewelry afterwards that he hadn't paid for. Neither of them would consider this holiday to apply to them... but Delenn, being the fiendish matchmaker she canonically is for these two, sent gifts in their names to the respective other.

14: Would your OTP take a walk together in the snow?

Yes. G'Kar says it's just to ensure nobody other than himself kills Londo Mollari. Londo does it in the happy certainty that snow didn't feature in a single one of his ominous dreams, which means that as long as he strolls through it, he's destiny-free.

15: Which one gets more excited over the first snow of winter?

Londo, because: see above.
selenak: (Claudia and Elizabeth by Tinny)
I don't have anything deep to say about the not unexpected demise of a historical figure, but I'm grateful to the Guardian for devoting an extra article to all the failed attempts to kill Fidel Castro, which reminded me that long before the Orange Menace, reality beat satire every time. I mean: if someone invented said attempts, they'd be accused of over the top anti American caricature. Surely the CIA would not be that clumsy and ridiculous, etc.

Incidentally, the article included some new-to-me attempts; of course I knew about the cigars, but the cunning scuba-diving and exploding mollusks plan (are we sure a US descendant of Blackadder wasn't involved?) was new intel. Incidentally, what still surprises me from today's perspective isn't that the CIA proved so embarassing inept at killing Castro, but that when they outsourced the task to the Mafia, the mob proved equally as inept.

...then again, mobsters owe their reputations as much to Hollywood as the CIA does, so it makes sense again.
selenak: (Rocking the vote by Noodlebidsnest)
Broadly speaking, and watching from abroad which means I might have missed a lot, I'm tempted to guess the only Republicans coming out of this election year with their reputations enhanced instead of damaged are, of all the people, the ex presidents Bush (for at no point endorsing Drumpf)...and Megyn Kelly, Fox News Presenter. Or we could just narrow it down to Megyn Kelly. Who in addition to tirelessly battling the orange menace also just took on the 90s tantrum throwing manchild, Newt Gingrich, when he went up against her.

Check this out. Kudos, Ms. Kelly. Not that I agree with you on anything else, but, yeah.

Meanwhile, the Gingrich comedy hour included such gems as "“I’m sick and tired of people like you using language that’s inflammatory that’s not true!”. Spoken by Newt Gingrich. Supporting Donald Trump. I think this might rival Drumpf's own "nobody respects women more than I do", don't you?

Also, I'm having fond flashbacks to the last presidential election campaign, in 2012, when Gingrich suddenly discovered he'd always loved Bill Clinton and thought him a great president in an effort to divide the Clinton and Obama camps. I can't wait for what he'll come up next post elections. He's always known Drumpf was up to no good, and no one but he can save the Republican party?
selenak: (DuncanAmanda - Kathyh)
Considering the current fashion of making everything into a procedural, and one with a male and female lead to boot, and with Restoration England recently in my mind, I've decided there's an obvious tv show opportunity here in the Interregnunm, those eleven years (1649 - 1660) between Charles. I. execution and Charles II. return to England, when England was a republic.

Now, the male detective would be young Charles II. Who had ample time at his hands during his exile, was eternally short of cash and on the move on continental Europe between Holland (where his sister Mary of Orange lived), France (where his mother, being a sister of the late Louis XIII, found shelter with his youngest sister, Henriette Anne aka Minette) and various principalities that would have him for a while. Charles was undoubtedly the smartest of the Stuarts and never short of a bonmot, which is good for a detective, and he really needed money. (For a while, his mother when he was dining with her in the Louvre made him pay for his part of the food.) He also was physically fit and good at escaping dire situations. (See famous escape out of England after the battle of Worcester disguised as a peasant.)

The female lead? A member of a Dutch merchant company who had provided Charles with some cash and then realised there was really not much of a chance to ever see it again, or even getting royal favours out of it. (Remember, no one at the time knew whether this Republic thing would be permanent or not, whether or not it would survive Cromwell, and thus whether or not Charles would ever be in a position to do anything for anyone.) Our heroine's original job is making sure the merchant company gets at least SOMETHING for its money, which is, solving crimes that have a negative impact on the company's trade otherwise. If he has nothing else, Charles has access to Royal circles at the continent where our bourgois heroine would not get to, so there's that.

Big twist before the mid season hiatus: we find out the Dutch merchant company isn't our heroine's only employer: she also works for OLIVER CROMWELL as his secret agent abroad, supposedly to keep an eye on Charles (at least in theory, if he ever got enough cash by, say, marriage to a rich princess, he could try an invasion). She's also half English and her parents have suffered awful fates in the reign of Charles I., which was part of the reason why she works for Cromwell.

Considering the audience knows Charles will make it to the English throne alive post Interregnum, the main suspense has to be in the fictional female lead's fate and decisions. And since there's entire decade to choose from, the show is good for 5 to 7 seasons. The episodes set in France can also be stealthy Musketeers crossovers, given the most recent version was cancelled (free actors) and this era is roughly the one (immediately after) Dumas' first Musketeers sequel, "20 Years Later".
selenak: (Ashoka and Anakin by Welshgater)
Tonight, Better Call Saul comes back, which makes me realise all of the fictional relationships (both friendly or romantic) I'm currently most invested in are doooomed, and it's usually because they're in prequel canons. Jimmy/Kim, because Jimmy is on his way to Saul-dom, and that's inevitable because Breaking Bad. Norma Bates & everyone, because Norma is the most doooooomed mother ever. (Bates Motel is also soon coming back on my tv screen.) Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, because dammit, Anakin. John Silver & Captain James Flint because Treasure Island.

....and then I remember The Americans are soon returning, too, and this great promo for season 4 is mouthwatering. Philip! Elizabeth! Your incredibly messed up relationship is so my rescue here, because you're in an canon without a predetermined ending. I mean, sure, the Cold War will (temporarily) end in a few years and all you've done for Mother Russia will have been in vain, but at least I can root for you guys to remain messed up and together for more years to come!
selenak: (Gold by TheSilverdoe)
„Mr. Gold“, Henry asked, because „Gramps“ was David, and „Rumpelstilskin“ somehow seemed too familiar, “what’s your take on Scottish independence?”

“Why on earth should I care?” his grandfather replied. He’d been in a bad mood ever since Belle had discovered his latest lie, which somehow resulted in Rumpelstilskin moving in with Henry’s other grandparents. The dubious reasoning for this that he wanted David constantly available for relationship advice.

“Well, aren’t you…I mean, your accent is Scottish! I can tell! I heard it on tv when they showed Doctor Who. “

Rumpelstilskin did not look impressed. However, his glare had yet to affect Henry.

“I mean, I know you’re not from this Scotland, but surely you’re from fairy tale Scotland! The one with Mel Gibson?”

“Do not mention this name to me”, Rumpelstilskin replied. His 28 years as Mr. Gold had included having to track down people unwilling to fulfill their debts even when they were hiding in Storybrooke’s lone cinema when it showed the man in question attempting what sounded like a parody of Gold’s own voice.

But Henry was unstoppable. “I bet all the Scottish fairy tales are real, too. So does Nessie get a vote? There’s a Nessie, right?”

Rumpelstilskin decided to be generous. After all, this was his grandson, and he used to have a soft spot for the child before the boy turned out to be the bane of his existence as well.

“There used to be, but she emigrated to the east after too many visits by knights eager to make their name. I was able to arrange a deal.”

Henry’s eyes were big as balloons. “What kind of a deal?”

“Let’s just say when Regina cast the curse, it enabled the lady from Loch Ness to start a new life and a film career in this world’s Japan.”

Being his grandson, the boy was quick. “Nessie is Godzilla! No way!” He frowned. “But Godzilla movies are way older than the 80s. Mr. Gold, are you having me on?”

Joking as the accusation was, it reminded Rumpelstilskin of the dire situation with Belle right now, and his brief attempt at grandfatherly teasing collapsed.

“Yes,” he said shortly and wished the boy would leave him to his brooding.

“Well, it’s a cool idea anyway,” Henry conceded. “So – since I’m your grandson, am I fairy tale Scottish, too? Can you teach me the accent?”

“Even my power has limits,” Rumpelstilskin said, and vanished into purple smoke.
selenak: (Galadriel by Kathyh)
The announcement of a movie about the friendship between J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis reminded me again how inconvenient real life often operates when it comes to dramatizing, especially regarding giving a story climax and resolution. The last time C.S. Lewis was the subject of a biographical movie, Shadowlands, it was focused on a relationship of his as well, true, but the death of the other main character, his wife Joy, and Lewis struggling through the immediate aftermath provided a natural third act and resolution, so to speak. Even so, the script simplified and exised people a great deal (Joy went from having two sons from her first marriage to having only one, Lewis' friends - Tolkien, Williams et al. - were all represented, sort of, as one fictional character named Christopher, and absolutely no mention was made of Lewis' pre-Joy decades long relationship with a woman, "Mintho" Moore. (As I understand it the nature of the relationship - filial, romantic or a mixture of the two - is still under debate, but what's not under debate is that he lived with her for decades and she hadn't been dead that long when he met Joy.) Mentioning this isn't meant as a put-down on my part, by the way. All this exising of characters allows for a tighter focus, I found the film very moving and superbly acted by Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger (one reason why I was so dissappointed when the film's scriptwriter recently was such an ass about his Mandela biopic flopping), and at any rate, Shadowlands isn't supposed to be about Lewis' entire life and never claimed to cover all the aspects.

Now, with Tolkien and Lewis, I wonder what kind of structure they'll go for. Act I: Our Heroes meet and hit it off between love for all things Norse and Tolkien converting Lewis to Christianity, leading to Inklings, Hobbit, Screwtape, Tolkien starting LotR, Lewis starting Narnia. Act II: Lewis dashes off Narnia books at top speed, happily mixing fauns and Father Christmas, and becomes a Christian Explainer To The Masses, both of which irritates Tolkien a lot for various reasons. However, "Fellowship" getting published and Lewis writing glowing reviews while suggesting Tolkien for the Nobel Prize papers over the cracks for a while, until the arrival of either Charles Williams or Joy Gresham or both (depending on whether the script wants to use both) in Lewis' life and Lewis insisting on Tolkien befriending them when he, Lewis, had previously refused to have anything to do with Edith Tolkien leads to serious enstrangement. Act II climaxes with a big argument. Act III: well, there's the problem. As far as I know, and I could be misremembering or not knowing in the first place, Tolkien and Lewis drifting apart wasn't, in fact, a dramatic series of arguments but more a slow and entirely undramatic series of contact lessening and terse remarks in letters to other people. It's not like either of them ever wrote a How Do You Sleep? about each other or attacked each other via the press. Why so restrained and dignified, English professors? I bet the script will go entirely fictional at that point, inventing both a dramatic face to face argument and (after some scenes of pining) an equally dramatic reconciliation (maybe after Joy's death), and it fades out with them sitting on a bench a la Bilbo and Gandalf early in the film version of Fellowship, two battered old friends together.

So far, so semi-serious speculation on my part. Now for some completely irreverent flippancy: fandom being what it is, if this movie will cast actors as Tolkien and Lewis who are in any way regarded as hot, there will be slash. Depending on how successful the movie is, it could be solely a tiny corner at Yuletide or the next Big Thing. If the later, I predict Joy and/or Edith bashing of the She Comes Between Them type as well. If Charles Williams exists in the movie, He Comes Between Them As Well, but that traditionally doesn't lead to bashing in a male character, it leads to rival ships. Williams could have a postmortem career as the next Castiel there, with Lewis/Williams the alternative to the big Lewis/Tolkien juggernaut, and a small but vocal minority writing Tolkien/Williams hate sex. Poor Mrs. Moore probably won't exist in this one at all, either, and definitely won't get played by Helen Mirren which as I seem to recall was A. N. Wilson's suggestion, but if I'm wrong and Mintho Moore makes it into the Tolkien/Lewis saga, and if there is even the smallest hint she's something other than a mother figure to Lewis, then she'll probably join Edith and Joy in the ranks of bashed female characters, and stories set in the early stages of the Tolkien and Lewis relationship will cast her as the villain trying to prevent it. Oh, if someone unearths Lewis' "Four Loves", to be specific, the essay praising (male) friendship and comparising favourably with male/female romance, then tumblr will go wild using photos from the movie with quotes.

...or the movie could sink without a trace in either fandom or critical attention. Or never get made. But where'd be the fun in that?
selenak: (Not from Nottingham by Calapine)
Via [personal profile] lonelywalker: Patrick Stewart, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Jackman, Ellen Page and Peter Dinklage get asked the "fuck, marry, kill" question about Wolverine, Charles Xavier and Beast/Hank McCoy. Their answers are golden, all of them. (Also not spoilery for the new movie, so you can watch, though if you're a European like me, you should employ Tunnelbear to trick the website into letting you). I'm very glad Patrick Stewart seems to agree with [personal profile] lonelywalker and myself about the Charles/Hank potential, sort of, but I have say, Peter Dinklage's final reply absolutey wins. In case the embedding doesn't work, the direct link is here.

This cheers me up greatly, and I did start my day with the first world problem downer of realising that a) getting to watch a new fannish movie early means you can't yet talk with many people about it, and b) I care about the characters, and the downside of this is that reading someone hate on them hurts. This is the advantage of following media like, say, Game of Thrones where I have no emotional investment and can read everyone else getting upset without feeling the slightest urge to defend anyone.
selenak: (Dragon by Roxicons)
Nothing like a rainy May day for some silliness to provide cheer.

The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad:

Rick Grimes versus Walter White rap. Spoilers for both shows at least up to and including s3 of WD and s4 of BB. You don't have to like either character to get a kick out of this.

Monster movies and Tolkien:

Godzilla versus Smaug: meanwhile, Kilgharra who arranged the fight is too smart to show up and takes over while they're distracted.
selenak: (Kima Greggs by Monanotlisa)
Due to Darth Real Life, I'm so thoroughly intellectually drained that I must be the dullest person on earth right now, posting wise. And with answering comments. But it will get better next week when I have a bit more free time, I swear! In the meantime, you know what's just the thing for the work-wrung person, walking through a bookstore in a daze? Spotting this:

 photo TrashyCovers_zpsc952ebc9.jpg
selenak: (Breaking Bad by Wicked Signs)
[personal profile] astrogirl is watching Breaking Bad, which led to us having fun with some Mr. White versus Mr. Gold comparisons. This, in turn, led to a creation of a poll, for anyone who watches both Breaking Bad and Once Upon A Time, as these two gentlemen turn out to have quite a lot in common. (Not least, of course, the "but I'm doing it all for my FAMILY!" self image whilst causing havoc.) However, be warned: SPOILERS, for all five seasons of Breaking Bad and all of Once Upon A Time broadcast so far (i.e. until and including In the name of the brother). To be extra careful, as I hate being spoiled myself, I shall hide the poll with the spoilery questions beneath a cut.

Gold versus White: It's ON! )
selenak: (Orson Welles by Moonxpoints5)
In 2013, selenak resolves to...
Find a better sci-fi.
Lose ten alias by March.
Cut down to ten heroes a day.
Give up ted hughes.
Tell my family about beatles.
Pay for my orson welles on time.

Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

...I have the suspicion my family already knows about the Fab Four, Orson never paid on time for anything so I don't see why I should, and I don't want to give up Ted Hughes!

Better sci fi is of course always welcome.
selenak: (Erik and Charles by Justcyanide)
Apparantly the Republican strategy to counter the effect of Bill Clinton's rock star performance in support of Obama is to try and divide the Obama and Clinton camp again by suddenly discovering they like Bill Clinton and think he's been an awesome president. This is hilarious in general if, like me, you don't suffer from complete amnesia over the 90s and the violent hatred the Republicans spewed in the direction of both Clintons back then, and hilarious in particular coming from Newt Gingrich. Mind you, I'm entirely willing to believe Gingrich has mixed feelings. After all, he actually was important in the Clinton era. (As opposed to now, where he's being out-viled by the Tea Party folk by a mile.) Also, because you can't make such stuff, up, he actually told his wife (not sure whether it was the one he dumped in the hospital or the one after that), who told Newsweek in 1996, that the reason why he always took Dick Armey along when going to negotiate with Clinton was that "I melt when I'm around him".

Sadly for Newt, the chapter in Clinton's memoirs on Gingrich shows not many signs of his foe crush being reciprocated, but it is an entertaining and clever take not just on Gingrich but those forces in the Republican party which dominate today.

Which is why you find the relevant passages below the cut )
selenak: (Buffy by Kathyh)
One of many reasons to love fandom: it gives you over 70 comments debating centuries dead kings, queens and the way they're written, including the trivia that there is a novel in which King John calles his penis 'Raoul', which I am sure you all wanted to know. You can thank me (and [profile] angevin2 who supplied me with this information) later. Now the last months have stirred Jossverse nostalgia in me (not just "Buffyverse" since the term would exclude the Los Angeles branch), with the occasional reminder of what I don't miss. (Apparantly first people were upset Mark of capslock and Mark Watches fame doesn't mention Spike often enough in his reviews, and then people were upset other people were upset and posted fandomsecrets about it? See, [personal profile] londonkds, this is why I'm staying out of the Spike wars.) Anyway, the fandom part I am nostalgic for definitely includes shiny meta, like this essay about Once More With Feelings.

Since I was in shiny Jossverse meta mood, I reread this splendid essay about Wesley and the various personas he goes through on both shows, by [personal profile] versaphile. And then it hit me what Wes and his repeated self recreations reminded me of: Breaking Bad. The last season of which is about to start, so I was thrilled to read [profile] frenchani's new essay about Walter White.

In conclusion: meta is fun. And now excuse me while I hum Standing in the Way and wonder for the nth time whether or not the Merlin producers should have found an excuse to let Uther sing.
selenak: (SydSloane - Perfectday)
Over at [community profile] fanficrants there was a recent post where the poster complained that her story, which describes a clear and thus labeled non-con scenario, got feedback describing it as a happy marriage situation. I would sympathize, except the description of said story in the post and in the comments makes it very clear it's yet another woobie!Loke/Thor the evil rapist tale. Now, rather than bore the lot of you with groans about victim!Loki tales complete with bizarre ooc Thor (and Odin, while we're at it, who in this story apparantly decides the ideal punishment for Loki is being given to Thor as a sex slave), I decided to be more multifandom and creative about this. Of course nearly every fandom has its share of tales in which the morally ambiguous or villainous characters end up as victimized sex slaves of the now clearly evil "good" characters (or third parties, so the good characters can rescue them from their predicament and all impediments between them, such as the formerly ambiguous' character's behaviour, is immediately forgiven); well do I remember a fanzine advertised as a "great Methos hurt/comfort story" which I acquired in my first flush of Highlander fandom and Methos adoration and which introduced me to the dubious joys of endlessly raped Methos, Cassandra bashing and, of course, Duncan grovelling. However, it's by no means just any ambigious and/or villainous character who gets the sex slave treatment. Popularity isn't really a criteria, either. I mean, Scorpius on Farscape, Bester on Babylon 5 and my darling Arvin Sloane from Alias were all much appreciated villains in their canons, but did they get to be abused sex slaves of the heroes in fanfic? They did not.

Scorpius: I briefly did get to be an abused slave forced to watch Crichton have sex in canon, though. Maybe this acted as a detriment to writers.

Bester: Words cannot express how profoundly grateful I am. Undoubtedly Mr. Garibaldi's idea of having a sex slave would include torture by Warner Brothers cartoons.

Arvin Sloane (steeples fingers): This sounds like a plausible scenario for Sydney and I to use on the next field mission I shall assign to her. I thank you for the idea.

Now, not being new to the ways of fandom, I am aware that the most likely explanation is that none of these fascinating gentlemen showed up as as (relatively) young and pretty in their canons. However, this isn't a problem when we're talking Shakespeare (much on my mind these days), since his plays can cast in an endless variety of ages. So, I present several Shakespearean villains and ambigious, who should not miss out on getting what every Methos or Loki is given, complete with summaries from yet to be written stories.

Macbeth: after Macduff defeated Macbeth, Malcom steps in before the beheading. The only fitting punishment for Macbeth, he declares, is to be Macduff's sex slave. Macduff having always secretly fancied Macbeth, he readily agrees. 21 chapters of torture and rape ensue. Someone dares to bring up that pesky murder of Lady Macduff & kids on MacBeth's orders. and is properly smitten down for being so judgmental. In chapter 22, Macbeth is rescued by his lady who just faked her death, with the help of the witches; Malcolm and Macduff are demasked as the sadistic hypocrites they are and killed in gruesome ways. Happy ending!

Othello: Investigating the events on Cyprus, the Venetians find out Iago's true motivation: all this time, he was abused by Othello on a nightly basis as his sex slave, which Desdemona, Cassio et al were aware of and encouraged for a laugh. Everyone is horrified and disgusted at hese sadistic hypocrites and gratified one is dead and the other demasked; Iago is exonorated and has sweet hurt/comfort healing sex with male or female oc who was the only one to truly understand him.

Richard III (Shakespeare version, not real one, remember): Richard starts out his life sexually abused by older brother Edward and occasionally pimped out to Marguerite d'Anjou while Henry VI, not so crazy as not to being a secret sadist, enjoys the show. After all this comes to light via Buckingham who at some point also abused Richard and boasted of it, everyone realises this explains everything, and it's hugging and forgiveness time all around by by anyone still alive in the last act of Richard III (i.e. mostly Elizabeth Woodville and Elizabeth of York). Complete with apology and grovelling from Elizabeth Woodville for not having stopped the abuse after marrying Edward, who thus is also to blame for the dead kids, because in Richard's place, wouldn't you?

King Lear: Oh, this is shooting fish in a barrel. Of course Edmund (being a bastard) is abused on a nightly basis by his father and his half brother. (Goneril and Regan only get abused by their father in pro fic by Jane Smiley because they're not male characters.) Instead of dying in the last act, he' s condemmed to be Edgar's victory trophy and sex slave. Cordelia (whose death was a ruse because Edmund would NEVER have given that order, the poor woobie) eventually rescues him and kills the abusive Edgar, making Edmund king.

Much Ado About Nothing: speaking of bastards. That word Don Pedro announces he'll have with Don John at the end of the play? That sinister announcement by Benedick that he'll device a punishment for Don John? Of course, what Benedick means is that Don John will be made a sex slave. This is what Don Pedro has secretely always wanted, and he glories in finally getting it. Still a WIP as the author hasn't decided whether the gang bang should end with Don John's death or liberation.

Titus Andronicus: Aaron... dammit, Will. Did you have to go and make it canon?
selenak: (Goethe/Schiller - Shezan)
An entry in German, because this is something incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't lived in Germany during the last three years anyway:

Das einzige, was die Stuttgart-Sequenz noch besser gemacht hätte, wäre, wenn jemand Loki nach dem "Kniet nieder!" gefragt hätte: "Sind Sie von der Bahn?"
selenak: (Arthur by Voi)
So, I may have watched The Avengers three times already. Um. I don't think I liked anything Joss Whedon did so much since Astonishing X-Men, which fits, and AXM was the best Joss thing since Buffy for me, and here I include Firefly, sorry, browncoats. Anyway, this coming shortly after rewatching Merlin seasons 3 and 4 suddenly made me realise that movieverse Thor and Loki = Arthur and Morgana, Merlin version, and that post-Thor and Avengers Thor and later seasons Arthur should start a Multiverse support group for How To Handle Your Still Beloved Sibling The Sociopath. Part of the program, which was written together after much brainstorming and shared mead:

1.) (All)Father. As in, best not mention him, since according to your sibling everything is his fault, which they at least partly may be right about. One of the problem is that even if you're prepared to discuss his faults, this somehow leads to "he always liked you better" which is bemusing because you have distinct childhood and adolescent memories of Dad being all agoo over the Dark Haired Ones and never lecturing them on their duties half as much.

2.) That Throne Is Mine. This point of discussion never goes anywhere, either. Part of your growth process as heroes means you have your doubts about your own qualification for rulership, but since the Beloved Sibling spends their interrmittent time on the top with killing people for sport, they clearly are not an option for the throne at all. Consultant Darcy scribbled a note on the program saying "offer throne to third party = everybody wins?", offered by a note by consultant Merlin writing "not unless third party is also side of coin", which does not sense to anyone.

3.) How To Make An Angsty Reunion Last. On the one hand, combining questions of "why" and reassurances of ongoing affection with physical closeness heighten the effect; on the other, they also give YSBSTS the chance to do some physical violence, so watch out for that.

On a less kidding note, I really did love a spoilerly scene ). It's my dysfunctional siblings thing, I suppose, which also contributed to me digging the Arthur and Morgana reunion scene from Sword in the Stone II so much.

Unrelated to siblings but still in Avengers territory: I also found out that while we non-Americans got the movie first, we did not get a second post-credit scene, and the Americans do. What treachery is this? Here, oh fellow non-Americans, is a screen cap of said scene, which is spoilery. )
selenak: (Breaking Bad by Wicked Signs)
Fringe: still haven’t watched it. My dread builds up. I think I'll wait till the next episode is there...

The Good Wife: I did watch the episode and enjoyed it save for one Eli related moment, but right now can’t find anything intelligent to say about it.

Therefore, what you get is fannish silliness. I give you the

Live Lessons Learned by Breaking Bad

1.) There is no end to the practical use of chemistry. Even if you're not planning on a criminal career. Therefore, apply yourself in high school!

2.) Always pay your taxes.

3.) Loyalty is a life saving virtue. Even when it's directed at the wrong person.

4.) Georgia O'Keefe encourages romance

5.) Pizza really shouldn't be used as a weapon in a marital argument

6.) Turtles and wheelchairs can have an explosive amount of similarities

7.) If you're at that point where you lie more than you tell the truth, at least make sure nobody is around you when you're on painkillers, drunk or otherwise about to pass out. You're bound to say something truthful you'll regret when you wake up.

8.) Never try to outnegotiate a bookkeeper

9.) Sex with your boss to get back at your husband is only worth it if your boss isn't even more frustrating, not mention stupid.

10.) If you're intending to successfully poison people, don't tell anyone. Seriously, don't. The moment you do, your attempt is bound to fail.

11.) Successful criminals don't meet at remote, picturesque locations; they prefer fast food restaurants.

12.) Whatever your problem is: better call Saul!


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