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selenak: (Hiro by lay of luthien)
[personal profile] selenak
Title: On giving your heart to the dragon

Disclaimer: All owned by NBC.

Characters: Hiro, Nathan, Kensei; mention of others

Rating: G

Summary: Hiro and the shades of grey; a portrait

Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] kathyh for beta-reading

Spoiler: Up to 2.11 Powerless




On giving your heart to the dragon

I.

Some images stay with you, etched in time with bright, shining colours. New York, Times Square, that wondrous first time; the flames of a burning car, frozen, as Hiro manages to pull a girl out of them; Charlie’s copper hair, dancing on her shoulders, and her smile; Yaeko under the cherry blossoms.

Takezo Kensei pulling off his mask, revealing an impossible European face and blue, dancing eyes.

A flying man, landing outside a diner in Nevada, entering the diner and Hiro’s life and bringing the certainty that truly, everything is possible.

Hiro can stop time, but he can’t keep it. Those moments are irrevocably gone, and he won’t ever get them back.


II.

There were many reasons why Hiro was so determined to turn Kensei into the hero of legend. There was the conviction that this was what was supposed to happen, of course; there was also the wonder of being able to live in the favourite story of his childhood, and the longing he felt for Yaeko the swordsmith’s daughter, which he hoped would go away once she became Kensei’s princess, as she was destined to. But his most convoluted reason had its roots in the moment when Nathan Petrelli whispered in his ear that he was sorry, and Hiro understood that Nathan was already on his way to becoming the man he had seen in the horrible future, dispensing injustice on flickering screens everywhere.

“Forget that jerk,” Ando had said, but Ando didn’t understand. Nathan wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be a hero, and maybe if Hiro had remained at his side after their first encounter, this awful moment would not have happened.

Well, it would not happen with Kensei. Hiro would remain with him and see to that.



III.

There are other images that remain with you, but they are not fixed in time, they bleed over into everything else. Isaac Mendez’ corpse, and Charlie with her eyes turned to that same horrified stare, and the colour of their dead skin is the same that Kensei’s has, for just a moment, after arrows hit him, and before the miracle sets in; Sylar’s mother in her blood, and Sylar, with that disbelief in his eyes, and the sickening sound Hiro’s sword makes as it enters Sylar’s body.

The smell of corpses in the New York of the future is overwhelming, though that might have been Hiro’s imagination. Still, when he walks through White Beard’s torched camp, he finds the smell of burned flesh everywhere again, and wonders if he brought it with him, from that future that was not supposed to happen, any more than this version of the past was. It clings to him, and won’t disappear.

Maybe in the present it will. Past and future may be damaged, but there is still the present. Surely, there is still the present.


IV.

Seeing Kensei kill his father showed Hiro that the past was unforgiving and could no longer be fixed. He didn’t take Ando with him when he followed Kensei’s trace to the labaratory in Hartsdale, and then to Texas. Ando had nearly been killed by Sylar the last time, and Kensei obviously was still determined to make his vow true. Hiro would not deliver any more people he loved to the death of his own making.

He was, however, relieved for all of ten seconds when finding Peter Petrelli in the Primatech building. Peter was a stranger, true, a voice on the phone and a short moment in New York when they had both been battling Sylar, but he had tried to save the world then. It would be good to have an ally. Except that Peter guarded Kensei. “Adam Monroe killed my father,” Hiro said, and used the strange name as a shield. Adam, not Kensei. Thinking of him as Kensei would do no good.

Peter turned out every bit as intimidating as his future self, but Hiro wasn’t the Hiro that had been any more, and never found out what he would have done if Peter had not electrocuted his sword. Kensei’s sword.

When he woke up, Peter and Adam had vanished, and Hiro stumbled outside, trying to think of a way to find them in the huge building before disaster struck. The guilt and anger in him were nearly overwhelming. Which was when the miracle happened.

There he was, in the flesh, just like he had been outside the diner in Nevada. Well, he wore clothes this time, and not the suits Hiro had otherwise seen him in, either, but still, it was him, he was here, and that meant he did not believe any longer that the future was inevitable and nobody could do anything.

“Flying Man,” Hiro cried, and smiled for the first time in a long, long while.


V.

There are a lot of things Hiro wants to tell Nathan, starting with the fact he now understands that the world does not give you good guys and bad guys but makes you see the villainy in your own heart at times. And there are even more things to ask. But there is also a virus to stop, and Matt Parkman, who a few months ago in the future that has not happened and never will has beaten Hiro and cut into his mind with an angry, slicing voice, says they know “Adam” will release it if they don’t convince Nathan’s brother of the truth.

“Your brother thinks Adam Monroe is his friend,” Hiro says sadly.

“I’ll handle it,” Nathan says. “Where are they?”

Matt Parkman closes his eyes for a moment, and then tells them he has found Peter, whose mind he has touched before, and can lead them to him. As they follow, Hiro tries to hold back and keep silent, but silence makes him focus on what he will do very soon, what he must do, and he doesn’t want that. He wants to use these few minutes to be the Hiro who first met Nathan again, and that Hiro would never have thought of the idea that has been haunting him since the burial of his father. So he bursts out with the first thing that comes to mind and doesn’t sound too important.

“I saw your mother slap my father,” he says to Nathan. “It was fearful.”

Nathan gives him a look as they walk. “Frightening,” he corrects, and though his face remains tense, the corners of his mouth twitch. “Doesn’t surprise me. She always was a bit hands-on with your father.“

“I didn’t know,” Hiro says, and he means that he didn’t know Mrs. Petrelli and his father knew each other, but as the words are spoken, he realizes he means a lot more. “I – did not know many things, Na-than.”

He feels Nathan’s hand on his shoulder, giving him a brief squeeze, and it’s an oddly comforting sensation. Hiro takes it with him as he teleports to face his destiny.


VI.

Perhaps the most surprising thing of all was that Kensei called him “carp” again. It was Kensei, not some stranger named Adam; Hiro couldn’t fool himself. It was Kensei who told him that Hiro made him a hero and villain both, that Hiro was his inspiration, and it was Kensei who spoke about being a god come to judgement.

If an explosion didn’t kill Kensei, chances were that nothing would. “I should have killed you,” Hiro told him, and he could see in Kensei’s expression that Kensei didn’t understand what this meant, which was a small mercy. “I should kill you now.”

But he wouldn’t. Instead, he brought them back to Japan, and then he froze time again so he could put Kensei in the one place where no one would find him, the one place he would not be able to leave. The place which Kensei’s immortality had kept him from for four hundred years.

Afterwards, he returned to his old office and to Ando, and stared at Ando’s computer screen without really seeing anything.

“He won’t ever hurt anyone again,” he said to Ando, and Ando nodded, with a somewhat awed expression. He probably imagined a duel with the great warrior of legend.

Ando still believed in legends.


VII.

Hiro needs to know that the virus is gone, gone for good, so he teleports back to Odessa and tries to find Nathan, Matt and Peter again. There is no sign of them at Primatech. Next, Hiro goes to the Burnt Toast Diner where they still have a photo of Charlie, not really expecting to find them there but needing to find something of himself again. The tv is on, and there is some press conference from the Odessa Police Station, with Nathan talking. Maybe fate is back on Hiro’s side, he thinks, focuses and teleports to the station, just in time to watch Nathan get shot, not with arrows like Kensei was four hundred years ago, but with bullets.

There are images that remain with you, piercing through you like a sword. You can’t change them once you’ve seen them. Nathan in his brother’s arms, and everyone shouting.

Until Hiro freezes time. Because you can change what comes after, he thinks, and moves forward to change the world.

Date: 2007-12-06 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] futuresoon.livejournal.com
YES. SO MUCH YES. THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN. *flails madly, as per the icon* From the parallel of grayscale-characterization-Kensei/Adam to (lighter) grayscale-characterization-Nathan--which is brilliant, by the way--to Nathan's presence being what inspires Hiro to get back on his feet--to the ending, the wonderful, perfect ending that is WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE ACTUAL SHOW, YES DEFINITELY. Nathan-Hiro is one of my biggest platonic ships ever and boy, did you do it right. Every time I think you can't get even more awesome...

Date: 2007-12-06 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Nahan-Hiro platonic OTP here as well, obviously.*g* I was so grateful that we got at least those twenty seconds as they established Hiro is happy to see his Flying Man again, because helps me over the hiatus of undetermined length with all the fanfic possibilities. The Kensei/Adam - Nathan parallels in regards to Hiro were something I've been wondering ever since the first two Japanese episodes, so to speak...

Date: 2007-12-06 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nitesh-update.livejournal.com
That was incredible. Great job. I love the feelings between Nathan and Hiro, I think they have an awesome relationship in the show and you definitely showed that. :D THANK YOU FOR THIS FIC!

Date: 2007-12-06 03:55 pm (UTC)
gelliaclodiana: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gelliaclodiana
I really love this, especially the way Hiro draws the parallel between Nathan and Kensei, and the way it ends, with Hiro choosing to write a different story, this time.

Date: 2007-12-06 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syredronning.livejournal.com
Wonderful images. I'm right with Hiro on the memories :)) He's come a long way, hasn't he? From total belief into heroism to realizing that between a text book hero and trying to be a hero himself, there's a lot of grey...

Thanks a lot for sharing.

Date: 2007-12-06 04:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
I thought Hiro might, which made me write the story. Thank you for the feedback!

Date: 2007-12-06 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
The Nathan-Hiro relationship is one of my favourite things about Heroes, and you're welcome.*g*

Date: 2007-12-06 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Oh yes, he has. I love Hiro, and the way he's not been a static character but one who really went on a journey and was affected by what happened to him, and in turn affected others...

Date: 2007-12-06 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acejillian.livejournal.com
This was phenomenal, really. Your Hiro is beautifully crafted.

Date: 2007-12-06 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lostdreamer56.livejournal.com
So lovely. I love your connection between Hiro's innocence and Nathan. Because I think in a lot of ways it is so true; seeing Nathan evil in the future (obviously never knowing it was Sylar) and then seeing what he thought was evil in the present, and never knowing that Nathan saved the world makes his response to seeing Nathan there to save the world this time (again) so wonderful and delightful. Hiro/Nathan is definitely the platonic OTP of Heroes. Okay, rambling done.

Your fic always makes me love Heroes more than I thought I could before because you give me hope that I could see this on my screen. So, thank you. :)

Date: 2007-12-06 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sabaceanbabe.livejournal.com
So much disillusionment and yet so much hope. Oh, Hiro...

Date: 2007-12-06 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astrogirl2.livejournal.com
That's lovely. Man, I so feel for Hiro. He started out so innocent.

Date: 2007-12-06 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thank you, I'm glad I could do him justice. Also: I love your icon!

Date: 2007-12-06 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
You're welcome, and getting so thorough feedback is the best reward for a writer!

Date: 2007-12-06 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
That's him.

Date: 2007-12-06 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Which reminds me of Frodo and his story a bit, though at least Hiro doesn't have The One Ring eating at him. But yes. You see him lose his innocence all through the story, starting with the realisation that he can't save Charlie, but what slayed me in season 1 where after his encounter with the 5YG future, he still was so happy to see Nathan and when Ando said "but he's the bad guy in the future" (since neither of them ever found out about Sylar), Hiro declared confidently "but the future hasn't happened yet" and was so utterly and completely crushed by this:


Image

Image

And then, of course, came Sylar, Kensei, his father's death; so the contrast in the finale when the encounter with Nathan gave Hiro back his hope really stood out for me and gave me the idea for this story.

Date: 2007-12-06 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astrogirl2.livejournal.com
Aww. Crushed Hiro face! Man, that picture is just kind of heartbreaking. *sniffle*

Date: 2007-12-06 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
This scene makes me whimper each time. In the podcast, Masi Oka says he and Adrian Pasdar both teared up when they shot that scene, it got to them that much.

Date: 2007-12-06 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com
Aw! One of the reasons I adore Hiro is that, even when completely disillusioned, like Future!Hiro was, he still has all his values and an utter determination to make the world a better place. Go, Hiro! Save the future! *\o/*

Date: 2007-12-06 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meli-64.livejournal.com
Fantastic! :D

Date: 2007-12-06 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wee-warrior.livejournal.com
Oh, this is awesome. Very nice ending (*g*) and great characterization for Hiro.

Date: 2007-12-06 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
He will, he will, I'm sure of it. *g* Thanks!

Date: 2007-12-06 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2007-12-06 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Hiro made me end that vignette on a note of hope. He's reliable that way.*g* Thanks!

Date: 2007-12-06 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takethesky87.livejournal.com
Aaaaah, I love the idea you've planted of Hiro coming to save Nathan in the end! *adds to list of ways to bring Nathan back*

Beautiful, as usual. I especially like the way the beginning ties to the end through the talk about images that remain with you. And these lines:

He probably imagined a duel with the great warrior of legend.

Ando still believed in legends.


because they say so much about how Hiro's changed and how, it seems, the dynamic has changed between Ando and Hiro in a lot of ways (although, we don't see them much onscreen together, so it's hard to tell). Anyway, lovely insight into the characters, and thank you for sharing! :)

Date: 2007-12-07 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyaeryn.livejournal.com
You rock, you know that? *g* This is absolutely brilliant! I especially loved:

Hiro can stop time, but he can’t keep it.

Perfectly sums up the character and the journey he's been on. Hiro may have a bit more opportunity to influence time than the rest of us, but in the end, no matter how hard he tries to change it, it's still going to go its own way in the end, and it's taken a while for him to begin to accept that.

Hiro thinking of Nathan becoming the "bad man" as motivation for trying to "save" Kensei makes such perfect sense I feel silly for not thinking of it earlier. ;)

And on a purely shallow note, yay for Hiro/Nathan squishiness! :)

Date: 2007-12-07 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thanks for the feedback.*g* I've got such a soft spot for Hiro and Nathan, and the fact they did see each other again in Powerless gelled some ideas I've head about Hiro, his motivations and his journey through two seasons for a while.

Date: 2007-12-07 04:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
The few scenes we've had between Hiro and Ando, aside from their initial reunion (i.e. once Ando had given Hiro the "your father is dead" news), reminded me more of Ando and Future!Hiro in terms of dynamic, yes. Mind you, I don't expect it to stay that way, but I found it realistic, given all that happened to Hiro (and of course what he did) since their separation.

Re: saving Nathan, I also have another idea of how to approach that, but it's one for a longer story, and I don't know when I'll find the time to write said story. This one came because my Hiro muse made me; he wanted to end the story on a note of hope, despite all the darkness, since he's Hiro.*g*

Date: 2007-12-07 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunkncozb.livejournal.com
So much love for this. Platonic Hiro/Nathan is one of my favorite relationships on the show, but I always seem to have a hard time finding a fic that really explores that. You've really captured their dynamic here.

Also, I had a hard time following the changes that Hiro went through during season 2, and this fic really helped me. The first thing that went through my mind when I finished this was "I understand now." With how condensed time is on the show, it's so easy to forget that Hiro's last encounter with Nathan, just before the election, was only a few months ago, or that Hiro had only met Matt in the future. Being reminded of that really adds perspective.

Thanks, and I hope that your ending really does come true.

Date: 2007-12-07 12:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Platonic Hiro/Nathan is one of my favorite relationships on the show, but I always seem to have a hard time finding a fic that really explores that.

You probably know [livejournal.com profile] sparky77's "On Hiro getting shot", which is my favourite platonic Hiro/Nathan story, but just in case you don't:

http://sparky77.livejournal.com/431916.html

As for myself, I previously explored their dynamic in Lunch Break (http://selenak.livejournal.com/294938.html), which is set during "Godsend" in season 1, and it's an important part of my ensemble story Runaways (http://selenak.livejournal.com/324607.html).

The first thing that went through my mind when I finished this was "I understand now."

Oh, thank you! Several ideas about Hiro's s2 arc I had really gelled for me when I saw his brief encounter with Nathan and the climactic scene with Adam, and that made me write the portrait of his journey, so I'm really glad it works this way.

Date: 2007-12-07 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gossy16.livejournal.com
*wibble* *squee* I completely lack the verbal capacity to tell you how much I loved this. ♥

Date: 2007-12-07 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
"Wibble" and "squee" do nicely.*g*

Date: 2007-12-07 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] s8219.livejournal.com
Oh, that was a harsh read. I loved how perfectly balanced it was. Hiro's not cold and cruel with Adam (...well... haha) but he's also not idealistically thinking himself the white knight of the story. And his reaching for support, wanting it, but not needing it was fabulous.

I thought it a great story on the future from the perspective of someone who has seen alternate realities and can change the facts. Hiro's really grown as a character and it's amazing how well you've captured that.

And time with Nathan & Hiro is always, always time well spent :)

Date: 2007-12-07 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thekatebeyond.livejournal.com
Wonderful! What a beautifully-woven tale! I love your concept of how Nathan has affected Hiro. Very insightful!

Date: 2007-12-08 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cadesama.livejournal.com
Hiro

The idea that Hiro is determined to turn Kensei into a hero because he couldn't turn Nathan into one is brilliant, and I love your explanation for Hiro's joy at seeing Nathan again. It really makes sense that so much of Hiro's motivation (as well as Peter's and Nathan',s obviously) is guilt over the mistakes and uncontrollable inevitabilities of S1.

And I just want to keep this line in a box: "Hiro can stop time, but he can’t keep it. Those moments are irrevocably gone, and he won’t ever get them back."

:D

Date: 2007-12-08 07:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thank you for the feedback!

Date: 2007-12-08 07:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
I think Hiro stopped thinking of himself as the white knight of the story after White Beard's camp went boom at the latest, if not before. But that doesn't mean he stopped believing he has to fix what is wrong, which is a different thing...

Thank you for the feedback!

Thanks!

Date: 2007-12-08 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
The idea that Hiro is determined to turn Kensei into a hero because he couldn't turn Nathan into one is brilliant

Thank you. It crept up on me during the Feudal Japan episodes, but I wasn't sure until Powerless, because Hiro's reaction to seeing Nathan again and his scene with Kensei/Adam really settled it for me.

Date: 2007-12-09 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callmesandy.livejournal.com
This is so totally awesome. I'm so glad I've been making time to read fanfic today and got to yours, YAY! awesome!

Date: 2007-12-10 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thank you, or, as Hiro would say, yatta!

Date: 2007-12-10 10:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azikale.livejournal.com
This was just so perfect!

Date: 2007-12-11 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-01-02 01:51 am (UTC)
ext_7214: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kljoyce.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this and I hope you write more on how Hiro and Nathan affect each other -- not in terms of being in the same place at the same time, but in ideological, emotional terms. I would really love to see an explosion of Hiro and Nathan stories, slash or friendship or the blury place that has parts of both, on the level of the M3 - is it M cubed? thing : ) Thanks for writing this!

Date: 2008-01-02 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com
As someone who'd love to see more Hiro and Nathan in any shape, I empathize. Also, thanks! I did write about the two of them before, a missing scene named Lunch Break (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3561298/1/Lunch_Break), and their relationship is also very important in Runaways (http://selenak.livejournal.com/324607.html); I'm sure I'll write about them again...

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