Cliff, shag or marry?

[selenak]

That meme is making the rounds again, and for some reason, you people tend to give me villains and morally ambiguous people. I wonder why...

honorh gave me: Delgado!Master, Gaius Baltar and the Mayor of Sunnydale.

While I have no doubt the Mayor was an excellent husband to his Edna Mae and I like his folksy charm quite a lot, he does want to become a people consuming snake in the future, which I just can't see being good for marriage. So it's the cliff for him. Depending on whether this is before or after he turns invulnerable, he might survive it anyway.

(Delgado!Master was the last regeneration before he turns into Crispy!Master of insanity and bad cackling, so by no means would I cliff him. I like the Delgado regeneration way more than the three subsequent incarnations - Crispy is beyond the pale, Ainley has his good days but his bad days are just too much, and Roberts, well, we don't talk about Roberts.)

This leaves Gaius B. and Delgado!Master to choose for sex and marriage respectively. Again, easy, if you think it through. Now you might say Gaius is a health risk considering his man slut nature, but on the bright side, nobody he slept with ever seems to have gotten infected, not just the artificial life forms, and there are some examples whose health one could observe long term, so I'm assuming Gaius Baltar is good with safe sex. This means it's Gaius for a shag. No one sane would come between Baltar and Six long term wise anyway. I promise not to call him Lee, torture him, worship him or burst into tears after, which puts me ahead of several partners he's been known to have.

Of course, no one sane would try to come between any incarnation of the Master and the Doctor long-term wise, either (hence Lucy's state of mind), but that's not a problem. I'm sure Delgado!Master could be open for a short term marriage at the end of which he won't kill me or make me kill him instead of an amiable divorce, if I show him some of my fanfic, thus proving my twisted mind and sense of humor. I also could provide him with more access to The Clangers. (That's the children's tv show he was canonically fanboying before the Teletubbies.) And H.G. Welles novels. (He's a fan as well.) Maybe I can even wing some time travel out of this. Just must pay attention I don't end up as bait somewhere, and I'm set. Marriage with Delgado!Master it is!

astrogirl2 gave me: Jack Shephard, Sayid Jarrah and Ben Linus.

Myy first instinct says to cliff Jack, shag Sayid and marry Ben. Then I remember Ben is a horrible control freak when he LIKES people and a complete sociopath otherwise, and I promote Sayid to the marriage spot. But then I'll end up dead! Sayid is cursed that way and I want to live. Now, purely based on the desire to live Jack would be the best marriage option, and Ben the best cliff option. However, the horror of being married to Jack! Who is a horrible control freak in marriage and steady relationships as well (ask Sarah, ask Christian, ask Kate), with the additional disadvantage of being boring and unattractive to me. Plus Ben is just the type to survive a cliffing and put me through hell as a payback. I'll probably end up betraying everyone I care about and commit all sorts of dark acts, working for him. Nah.

(At no point does it occur to me to cliff Sayid, I'll have you know.)

Okay, I'm going back to my first choice: cliff Jack, shag Sayid and marry Ben. Undoubtedly my mind will be messed with on a grand scale, but at least I'll find life immensely entertaining. I will insist on using birth control, though.

kernezelda gave me: Angel (not Angelus), Jack Bristow and G'Kar.

Hm, cliff choice is easy. I actually happen to like Angel, but he's a vampire, he'll survive cliffing, plus sex with him has a certain risk factor anyway. G'Kar is so not marriage material, but definitely shaggable, and has plenty of experience with humans to go skillfully about it, too. (It occurs to me that he and Gaius Baltar share the man slut, great voice and least likely Christ figure factors, if nothing else.)

This leaves Jack Bristow for marriage, which is, err, a severe problem if we're in regular Aliasverse, because there's no way I'm competing with his Irina Derevko issues. And he'd trade me over to a dire fate if Sydney's life was at stake in a heartbeat. If this is an AU where he never met Irina, I'd go for it; if the dream scenarios are anything to go by, he's excellent husband material before the Irina/Laura reveal. (No idea whether I'd find his best pal Arvin as fascinating in real life as I do in fiction, or whether I'd urge Jack to move to another continent just to be sure.) If, on the other hand, we are in the regular Aliasverse, I'll make a deal with Jack: marriage plus speedy divorce (he probably just needs a temporary cover for an op anyway) guaranteed for both our sakes; he also has to promise that if I need help at some future point, as I'm bound to now that I've met a member of the Bristow clan, he'll be available.

In other fannish news, I will write my BSG finale review one of these days (short version: loved anything to do with Baltar and Six, all versions, status quo re: Adama and Roslin, approved of Tigh and Ellen scenes, was okay with Kara scenes, was touched by Sam scenes, and sighed and shook my head over some other stuff.) And I was thrilled to find out that in my absence not one but two of my stories got recced at crack_van, in two different fandoms. Now, back to answering emails piling up...

Comments

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

I promise not to call him Lee, torture him, worship him or burst into tears after, which puts me ahead of several partners he's been known to have.

Bwah! So very true. :)

I will insist on using birth control, though.

A good idea for all kinds of reasons. :)

[sionnain.livejournal.com]

I so share your Marry/Shag/Cliff for Jack/Sayid/Ben.

Ben is my FAVORITE, the evil git. ::loves him::

[selenak.livejournal.com]

One thing I can't understand is why Juliet as a fertility doctor didn't resolve her "omg every woman on this island who gets pregnant dies" angst by coming up with a contraceptive to give them without asking Ben, but maybe that's just me. But of course there are other reasons for using birth control when you're in a relationship with Benjamin Linus, yes.*g*

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

cliff Jack, shag Sayid and marry Ben.

That is the enlightened course of action indeed.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Mind you, I prefer Ben on tv to admire to having Ben in my life for obvious reasons, but if someone has to do it, well, I might sacrifice myself.*g*

[selenak.livejournal.com]

I have some Jack fans on my list who will probably disagree, but they weren't asked the question, and I just can't imagine another solution!

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's always bugged me, too. I can easily see Ben as evil enough to deny birth control to his people, figuring perhaps that figuring out how to get them to reproduce is more important than keeping them alive, but it's difficult for me to imagine the women just going along with it.

[snickfic]

I just have to say that your logic for Jack-Sayid-Ben makes me giggle. And yay for no cliffing of Sayid. :)

[selenak.livejournal.com]

Being pretty alone didn't save Sayid from cliffing, I'll have you know; but being pretty, morally ambiguous and smart (though not as smart as Ben) definitely did.*g*

[snickfic]

Oh, yes. Understood. I think in my case, the question of whether to cliff Jack or Sayid would come down to the fact that I'm still semi-sympathetic to Sayid's brand of angst, and Jack's just drives me up the wall. *g*

[honorh.livejournal.com]

All right, you know my fandoms intimately--hit me!

[willowgreen.livejournal.com]

Can't I cliff Jack and Ben together and let them fight it out in the surf while I'm off doing whatever with Sayid?

[selenak.livejournal.com]

My dear, I know how to torture. You're not going to get an asortment of morally ambiguous hotties or villains, no. You're going to get a trio of nice guys and will have to live with the knowledge that you've condemned one of them to death!

I give you Rhys Williams, Xander Harris and Mickey Smith.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

You are just mean! Why do I continue to be so infatuated with you?

All right, here's how it goes: Rhys, being married to Gwen, can't marry me. However, he's eminently shaggable, and Gwen's a Torchwood employee, so I'll get 'em pasted and have a threesome. Then I'll marry Xander, partially because he's a longtime woobie of mine, and partially because I do not want to face Darth Rosenberg.

After that, I'll call the Doctor and tell him Mickey's in trouble. Then I'll push Mickey off the cliff, the Doctor will rescue him, and we'll all go home happy.

I'm off to Kyoto tomorrow, btw. Look for pictures in the next couple of days.