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selenakWith the usual caveat that one woman's source of fannish annoyance may be another sentient being's source of fannish pleasure, etc.
1.) Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager.
Why is he annoying? Well, Robert Beltran's limited range of visual expressions doesn't help (in this role; I've never seen him in another), but I'm not letting the writers off the hook, either. In theory, Chakotay could have been fascinating, but most of what could have made him interesting went out of the window as the Starfleet and Maquis crews integrated so quickly. Then there was the (to me) inexplicable fact that the show insisted on having fascinating women fall for him. In the first season, Be'lanna was unrequitedly in love with him, Seska the spy was obsessed with him, and then there was the eternal Janeway/Chakotay UST, which might have been fun for others, but not for me. And in the very last season, the show hooked him up with Seven of Nine which made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Finally, Chakotay was given philosophical monologues to hold, and you have to be Patrick Stewart to do that in an interesting way. Whether it was his "angry warrior" tale or the Orson Welles invented story of the scorpion and the frog, which was declared to be "a story of my people" - his monotonous voice grated on my nerves each and every time.
2.) Lorien from Babylon 5.
Why is he annoying? Or, why him and not Byron? Well, Byron is a perfectly viable choice but I think with Byron, another actor could have at least made the whole charismatic cult leader thing more believable. By contrast, Lorien was played by an excellent actor whom show viewers had previously seen in chillingly fine form as Mr. Sebastian; it really was the writing and his entire existence, which screamed "lazy plot device" and was in direct contrast to one of the central philosophical points the plot made in the very same episodes he was in. (If you want to demonstrate the younger races won't find Mom's and Dad's wars anymore and are ready to kick them out of the galaxy, you do not do that by bringing in an almighty grandpa.) Lastly, the one plot point he was useful for - explaining Sheridan's survival and renewal of purpose - could have easily been served by an already established character with an already established relationship with Sheridan. Sheridan did carry that fragment of Kosh within him at that point, after all. Bah, as Londo would say. Bah.
3.) William "Bill" Adama from Battlestar Galactica.
Why is he annoying? Here I must say I did not always object to Adama, and have one Adama-friendly fanfic to prove it. But I steadfastly lost sympathy for him through the show, ended the show in a blaze of hate every time he was on screen, and when seeing his youthful alter ego, i.e. Bill as a little child, in the pilot for Caprica, hissed: die, kid, die! Where are child-killing robots when you need them? Why the change, you ask? Well, early on the show presented him as flawed but deliberately so, and also showcased his virtues, making it understandable why many of the other characters liked and admired him. Later on, Adama's self-righteousness, self-pity and complete lack of empathy for anyone outside his very limited circle grew and grew and grew, without being balanced like earlier. And they let Eddie Olmos go completely overboard with chewing the scenery, severely overestimating my patience for scenes where we see Adama cry, rage, or monologue. And, worst of all, one of the best, most interesting female characters in the last decade, Laura Roslin, was reduced to simply being his love interest, having no virtually no scenes which weren't about Adama in the last ten or so episodes she was in. All of which combined to make the mere sight of Adama grate on my nerves, even if he's just very limited background scenery like in The Plan.
4.) Galen from Crusade.
Why is he annoying? For starters, he's the third example of JMS' tendency of casting a British actor in the role of black-clad, brooding man with a mysterious past (after Marcus and Byron), and at the time it was getting old. Secondly, he's also an example of JMS' Tolkien fanboying, not just because he's a technomage, but because he does the Gandalf thing of mysteriously coming and going and delaying explanations. But it sometimes irritates me even when Gandalf does it, and Galen is no Gandalf. Thirdly, his narrative does not chastize him for endangering everyone else in a gratitious and reckless way to soothe his mourning soul. I think if I had the impression that Path of Tears meant me to be furious with Galen for the stunt he pulls, I would not mind. After all, my beloved Londo does a great many infuriating things, but in his case, the story means us to see this as wrong. (Or, to remain in the same show, Max Eilerson does a great many selfish things, and I adore him. The difference is of course that the show points out to Max and the viewers alike when he's being a pain in the butt.) But in the case of Galen, I thought the show wanted me to go "awww, poor woobie!", and I most certainly did not. Fourthly, with all my fondness for manipulative characters, female and male alike, I still didn't like what Galen did with Dureena. And I absolutely can't stand his voice, which I have to hear during the credits in every single Crusade episode. And 98% of the existing fanfic is about him. In conclusion: bloody Galen!
5.) Lila from Dexter.
Why is she annoying? The thing is, in theory I can appreciate several things about the existence of Lila. She's a repudiation of the fanfic cliché that all our serial killer needs is a wild girl/boy-soulmate who really understands him and "encourages him to accept his inner darkness". She's the selfish side of Dexter in distilled form, stripped of what makes Dexter sympathetic to the audience. But. The problem is that Lila is the most one dimensional of all the series antagonists so far, and she's the only female one. I'm not saying she's the worst in moral terms; Brian/Rudy, the Ice Truck Killer, was responsible for far more deaths, but we also got to see why he was the way he was. Miguel, Dexter's s3 friend/foe, was far more chilling in the entitled, self-righteous way he went about killing once he had started than Lila with her "omg, poor Dexter and his suffering soul, must help him by burning Doakes!" fangirlness. But with Miguel, too, we got some background and we got to see why both Dexter and LaGuerta liked and admired him for a long time. Whereas Lila remained a one dimensional caricature. And her final scene, Dexter killing her, had that taste of audience service that comes from first creating an unsympathetic female character and then killing her that I find disturbing, and not in a good way. Especially in a show I otherwise much approve of.
1.) Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager.
Why is he annoying? Well, Robert Beltran's limited range of visual expressions doesn't help (in this role; I've never seen him in another), but I'm not letting the writers off the hook, either. In theory, Chakotay could have been fascinating, but most of what could have made him interesting went out of the window as the Starfleet and Maquis crews integrated so quickly. Then there was the (to me) inexplicable fact that the show insisted on having fascinating women fall for him. In the first season, Be'lanna was unrequitedly in love with him, Seska the spy was obsessed with him, and then there was the eternal Janeway/Chakotay UST, which might have been fun for others, but not for me. And in the very last season, the show hooked him up with Seven of Nine which made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Finally, Chakotay was given philosophical monologues to hold, and you have to be Patrick Stewart to do that in an interesting way. Whether it was his "angry warrior" tale or the Orson Welles invented story of the scorpion and the frog, which was declared to be "a story of my people" - his monotonous voice grated on my nerves each and every time.
2.) Lorien from Babylon 5.
Why is he annoying? Or, why him and not Byron? Well, Byron is a perfectly viable choice but I think with Byron, another actor could have at least made the whole charismatic cult leader thing more believable. By contrast, Lorien was played by an excellent actor whom show viewers had previously seen in chillingly fine form as Mr. Sebastian; it really was the writing and his entire existence, which screamed "lazy plot device" and was in direct contrast to one of the central philosophical points the plot made in the very same episodes he was in. (If you want to demonstrate the younger races won't find Mom's and Dad's wars anymore and are ready to kick them out of the galaxy, you do not do that by bringing in an almighty grandpa.) Lastly, the one plot point he was useful for - explaining Sheridan's survival and renewal of purpose - could have easily been served by an already established character with an already established relationship with Sheridan. Sheridan did carry that fragment of Kosh within him at that point, after all. Bah, as Londo would say. Bah.
3.) William "Bill" Adama from Battlestar Galactica.
Why is he annoying? Here I must say I did not always object to Adama, and have one Adama-friendly fanfic to prove it. But I steadfastly lost sympathy for him through the show, ended the show in a blaze of hate every time he was on screen, and when seeing his youthful alter ego, i.e. Bill as a little child, in the pilot for Caprica, hissed: die, kid, die! Where are child-killing robots when you need them? Why the change, you ask? Well, early on the show presented him as flawed but deliberately so, and also showcased his virtues, making it understandable why many of the other characters liked and admired him. Later on, Adama's self-righteousness, self-pity and complete lack of empathy for anyone outside his very limited circle grew and grew and grew, without being balanced like earlier. And they let Eddie Olmos go completely overboard with chewing the scenery, severely overestimating my patience for scenes where we see Adama cry, rage, or monologue. And, worst of all, one of the best, most interesting female characters in the last decade, Laura Roslin, was reduced to simply being his love interest, having no virtually no scenes which weren't about Adama in the last ten or so episodes she was in. All of which combined to make the mere sight of Adama grate on my nerves, even if he's just very limited background scenery like in The Plan.
4.) Galen from Crusade.
Why is he annoying? For starters, he's the third example of JMS' tendency of casting a British actor in the role of black-clad, brooding man with a mysterious past (after Marcus and Byron), and at the time it was getting old. Secondly, he's also an example of JMS' Tolkien fanboying, not just because he's a technomage, but because he does the Gandalf thing of mysteriously coming and going and delaying explanations. But it sometimes irritates me even when Gandalf does it, and Galen is no Gandalf. Thirdly, his narrative does not chastize him for endangering everyone else in a gratitious and reckless way to soothe his mourning soul. I think if I had the impression that Path of Tears meant me to be furious with Galen for the stunt he pulls, I would not mind. After all, my beloved Londo does a great many infuriating things, but in his case, the story means us to see this as wrong. (Or, to remain in the same show, Max Eilerson does a great many selfish things, and I adore him. The difference is of course that the show points out to Max and the viewers alike when he's being a pain in the butt.) But in the case of Galen, I thought the show wanted me to go "awww, poor woobie!", and I most certainly did not. Fourthly, with all my fondness for manipulative characters, female and male alike, I still didn't like what Galen did with Dureena. And I absolutely can't stand his voice, which I have to hear during the credits in every single Crusade episode. And 98% of the existing fanfic is about him. In conclusion: bloody Galen!
5.) Lila from Dexter.
Why is she annoying? The thing is, in theory I can appreciate several things about the existence of Lila. She's a repudiation of the fanfic cliché that all our serial killer needs is a wild girl/boy-soulmate who really understands him and "encourages him to accept his inner darkness". She's the selfish side of Dexter in distilled form, stripped of what makes Dexter sympathetic to the audience. But. The problem is that Lila is the most one dimensional of all the series antagonists so far, and she's the only female one. I'm not saying she's the worst in moral terms; Brian/Rudy, the Ice Truck Killer, was responsible for far more deaths, but we also got to see why he was the way he was. Miguel, Dexter's s3 friend/foe, was far more chilling in the entitled, self-righteous way he went about killing once he had started than Lila with her "omg, poor Dexter and his suffering soul, must help him by burning Doakes!" fangirlness. But with Miguel, too, we got some background and we got to see why both Dexter and LaGuerta liked and admired him for a long time. Whereas Lila remained a one dimensional caricature. And her final scene, Dexter killing her, had that taste of audience service that comes from first creating an unsympathetic female character and then killing her that I find disturbing, and not in a good way. Especially in a show I otherwise much approve of.
