Thirty Days of Borgias: Day Eighteen
Jul. 29th, 2012 08:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
selenakDay 18 ~ Give some advice to one of the characters.
Who, me? Now that would be boring. Clearly, if someone should be the Agony Aunt in The Borgias, there are two people already handing out sage (and snarky) advice - Vannozza and Machiavelli. Machiavelli is the writer of the two, so his Agony Column survives. Have a sneak peek:
Dear Niccolo,
I used to work freelance, but then decided to try steady employment to a single client. Now, jobwise, this proved to be an excellent decision; good salary, travelling opportunities, my employer values my services and keeps offering me opportunities to branch out. Here's the problem, though: I think I've fallen in love with him, and he a) first mooned over a woman who didn't want him and told him so repeatedly, b) had sex with that, that, that WOMAN whom he was supposed to be only interested in for a hostile takeover and who just DRAGGED him to her bed, and c) is somewhat fixated on his sister. Also until very recently he was technically supposed to be celibate. Andn I'm afraid if I everdrag him to my bed as well - curse that WOMAN! try to initiate something, it'll cost me my job. What's an assassin to do?
Yours,
Just-A-Country-Boy-Really
Dear Country Boy,
have you ever thought about making a pass to a philosopher, playwright and counciller to underappreciative city state rulers instead?
Dear Niccolo,
I'm worried about my brother and his constant job frustration, my second brother's increasing failure to resemble a sensible human being and my father's inability to admit either. The most annoying aspect about it is that I'm pretty sure the only one of us siblings who'd actually be good at being what my father is grooming my oldest brother for (which is the job said brother doesn't want), i.e. his successor, would be me. Dad temporarily put me in charge and I both enjoyed it and, if I say so myself, was far more efficient than several occupants of said job I've heard and read about. It's a position that requires management skills, the knowledge when to use diplomacy and when to bring down the sledgehammer, so to speak, and above all interest in spiritual matters, all of which I possess, and I happen to know I'd look great in both red and white as well. Frustratingly, the organization in question won't permit my taking said job permanently because of my gender, otherwise I think I'd be able to persuade Dad. What's a woman to do?
Yours
Dazzling-In-Hairnets
Dear Dazzling-in-Hairnets,
if you ever come across a gentleman calling himself "The Doctor", persuade him to take you as a companion. I have it on authority he is in possession of a time travelling device. Then use him to get to the Third Age of Mankind, where, going by time traveller gossip, the organization in question is headed by a woman, and ditch him. If you want to show gratitude for this Machiavellian advice, please ensure a revival of my plays which somehow never caught on as much as my non-fiction did!
Dear Niccolo,
I didn't get to be one of the most powerful people in my organization and a strong contender for the top position by stupidity, lack of imagination or lack of scruples. Yet every one of my attempts to remove the upstart who had the gall to outbid me for the job have failed. What am I doing wrong? I'm out of legal deposition options to try, invasions to provoke, and something tells me all my hard work at successful poisoning won't get me anywhere, either. What's an antagonist to do?
Yours,
Not Pope Yet
Dear Not Pope Yet,
good things come to those who wait. Have you considered art patronage as a way to pass the time until the top position becomes free again? I can reccommend several young Florentine artists who are interested and also, due to Recent Events involving a certain monk, out of material to paint and sculpt with. Additionally, you could write your memoirs. Entertaining tell alls are one of the best ways to channel frustration at the success of people we loathe ever since Procopius had a go at Justinian and Theodora. You could ruin your opponent's reputation not just in the present but for all time, and do so with a lesser death score among the general population than your previous attempts to boot.
Day One ~ Picture or gif that expresses your reaction to the show.
Day 02 ~ Favourite female character.
Day 03 ~ Favourite male character.
Day 04 ~ Favourite antagonist.
Day 05 ~ Favourite quote from The Borgias.
Day 06 ~ Who do you ship?
Day 07 ~ Three words that describe The Borgias.
Day 08 ~ Favourite moment so far.
Day 09 ~ Least favourite character.
Day 10 ~ Would you rather be a cardinal or a soldier?
Day 11 ~ Favourite outfit worn by anyone.
Day 12 ~ Historical Crackship: Who belongs together, time and space be damned?
Day 13 ~ Re-Write History: Something you wish had happened.
Day 14 ~ Re-Write History: Something you wish never happened.
Day 15 ~ FREE DAY - Anything you’d like
Day 16 ~ Link to an interview or video you think is funny.
Day 17 ~ Favourite episode.
Day 18 ~ Give some advice to one of the characters.
Day 19 ~ Character that’s the most like you.
Day 20 ~ What do you like best about The Borgias?
Day 21 ~ Link to a Borgias blog.
Day 22 ~ Make or link to a graphic of your favourite ship.
Day 23 ~ Cesare, Juan & Lucrezia: Shag, marry, stab - what would you do?
Day 24 ~ Favourite quote from The Borgias.
Day 25 ~ Good riddance: Who have you not been sorry to see killed off?
Day 26 ~ A scene you can watch over and over again.
Day 27 ~ Fightin’ words: Who would you like to see in a fight to the death?
Day 28 ~ Fancast: Who would you like to see in a role on The Borgias?
Day 29 ~ Link to a fanvid you like.
Day 30 ~ How would you end the show?
Who, me? Now that would be boring. Clearly, if someone should be the Agony Aunt in The Borgias, there are two people already handing out sage (and snarky) advice - Vannozza and Machiavelli. Machiavelli is the writer of the two, so his Agony Column survives. Have a sneak peek:
Dear Niccolo,
I used to work freelance, but then decided to try steady employment to a single client. Now, jobwise, this proved to be an excellent decision; good salary, travelling opportunities, my employer values my services and keeps offering me opportunities to branch out. Here's the problem, though: I think I've fallen in love with him, and he a) first mooned over a woman who didn't want him and told him so repeatedly, b) had sex with that, that, that WOMAN whom he was supposed to be only interested in for a hostile takeover and who just DRAGGED him to her bed, and c) is somewhat fixated on his sister. Also until very recently he was technically supposed to be celibate. Andn I'm afraid if I ever
Yours,
Just-A-Country-Boy-Really
Dear Country Boy,
have you ever thought about making a pass to a philosopher, playwright and counciller to underappreciative city state rulers instead?
Dear Niccolo,
I'm worried about my brother and his constant job frustration, my second brother's increasing failure to resemble a sensible human being and my father's inability to admit either. The most annoying aspect about it is that I'm pretty sure the only one of us siblings who'd actually be good at being what my father is grooming my oldest brother for (which is the job said brother doesn't want), i.e. his successor, would be me. Dad temporarily put me in charge and I both enjoyed it and, if I say so myself, was far more efficient than several occupants of said job I've heard and read about. It's a position that requires management skills, the knowledge when to use diplomacy and when to bring down the sledgehammer, so to speak, and above all interest in spiritual matters, all of which I possess, and I happen to know I'd look great in both red and white as well. Frustratingly, the organization in question won't permit my taking said job permanently because of my gender, otherwise I think I'd be able to persuade Dad. What's a woman to do?
Yours
Dazzling-In-Hairnets
Dear Dazzling-in-Hairnets,
if you ever come across a gentleman calling himself "The Doctor", persuade him to take you as a companion. I have it on authority he is in possession of a time travelling device. Then use him to get to the Third Age of Mankind, where, going by time traveller gossip, the organization in question is headed by a woman, and ditch him. If you want to show gratitude for this Machiavellian advice, please ensure a revival of my plays which somehow never caught on as much as my non-fiction did!
Dear Niccolo,
I didn't get to be one of the most powerful people in my organization and a strong contender for the top position by stupidity, lack of imagination or lack of scruples. Yet every one of my attempts to remove the upstart who had the gall to outbid me for the job have failed. What am I doing wrong? I'm out of legal deposition options to try, invasions to provoke, and something tells me all my hard work at successful poisoning won't get me anywhere, either. What's an antagonist to do?
Yours,
Not Pope Yet
Dear Not Pope Yet,
good things come to those who wait. Have you considered art patronage as a way to pass the time until the top position becomes free again? I can reccommend several young Florentine artists who are interested and also, due to Recent Events involving a certain monk, out of material to paint and sculpt with. Additionally, you could write your memoirs. Entertaining tell alls are one of the best ways to channel frustration at the success of people we loathe ever since Procopius had a go at Justinian and Theodora. You could ruin your opponent's reputation not just in the present but for all time, and do so with a lesser death score among the general population than your previous attempts to boot.
Day One ~ Picture or gif that expresses your reaction to the show.
Day 02 ~ Favourite female character.
Day 03 ~ Favourite male character.
Day 04 ~ Favourite antagonist.
Day 05 ~ Favourite quote from The Borgias.
Day 06 ~ Who do you ship?
Day 07 ~ Three words that describe The Borgias.
Day 08 ~ Favourite moment so far.
Day 09 ~ Least favourite character.
Day 10 ~ Would you rather be a cardinal or a soldier?
Day 11 ~ Favourite outfit worn by anyone.
Day 12 ~ Historical Crackship: Who belongs together, time and space be damned?
Day 13 ~ Re-Write History: Something you wish had happened.
Day 14 ~ Re-Write History: Something you wish never happened.
Day 15 ~ FREE DAY - Anything you’d like
Day 16 ~ Link to an interview or video you think is funny.
Day 17 ~ Favourite episode.
Day 18 ~ Give some advice to one of the characters.
Day 19 ~ Character that’s the most like you.
Day 20 ~ What do you like best about The Borgias?
Day 21 ~ Link to a Borgias blog.
Day 22 ~ Make or link to a graphic of your favourite ship.
Day 23 ~ Cesare, Juan & Lucrezia: Shag, marry, stab - what would you do?
Day 24 ~ Favourite quote from The Borgias.
Day 25 ~ Good riddance: Who have you not been sorry to see killed off?
Day 26 ~ A scene you can watch over and over again.
Day 27 ~ Fightin’ words: Who would you like to see in a fight to the death?
Day 28 ~ Fancast: Who would you like to see in a role on The Borgias?
Day 29 ~ Link to a fanvid you like.
Day 30 ~ How would you end the show?
no subject
Date: 2012-07-29 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-29 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-29 11:33 am (UTC)So, Machiavelli is in The Borgias a lot? (I mean, I knew he had to at least appear, but the prospect of More Machiavelli is always a draw for me, not that I wasn't going to watch it anyway.) He is the best agony aunt ever.
Also, Lucrezia would be a wonderful companion and a great pope! (Well, for the particular values of 'great' that her father possessed, anyway.)
If you want to show gratitude for this Machiavellian advice, please ensure a revival of my plays which somehow never caught on as much as my non-fiction did!
His plays are fun, but poor Machiavelli is doomed to be remembered by the general public for one great book. (Now I'm imagining his friend Francesco Guicciardini muttering that Machiavelli is lucky to be famous in the 21st century at all.)
no subject
Date: 2012-07-29 12:01 pm (UTC)Also, Lucrezia would be a wonderful companion and a great pope! (Well, for the particular values of 'great' that her father possessed, anyway.)
Yes, that was my conclusion, too. She'd be excellent at both (and the only one of Rodrigo's children who would). I can't decide which Doctor would fit her best, but I've long decided that all departures from history in The Borgias are due to the Master's interference in one of his messing-with-time-to-attract-Doctor's-attention ploys, so that would be how she and the Doctor meet.