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selenakYou can't stay in various fandoms for long before noticing certain patterns repeating themselves. So, a friend & self came up with the following silliness.
If LOTR were a new work-in-progress in this day and age, people would certainly complain like this:
- why keep the Fellowship separated! We want more Fellowship vibe!
- everything after FOTR sucks
- Tolkien is losing it with all these new characters; he's spreading himself thin
- this Eowyn is taking time away from our heroes, and besides, she's such a Mary Sue; she even gets to win a crucial duel!
- Tolkien's a total sell-out if he doesn't have Gimli and Legolas declare their love for each other!
- The whole "Gandalf the White" storyline completely destroys my ability to take death seriously in LotR!
-Oh, sure, Boromir suddenly comes up with a little *brother*. The story's ruined!
- Frodo doesn't appreciate Sam enough. Sam's the real hero of the story!
- Gollum is destroying the Sam/Frodo relationship! Get rid of him!
- What the heck happened to Frodo's characterisation? He's closing himself off, we don't know what's going on with him - this isn't the hobbit we signed up for!
- Bring back Boromir!
- Frodo not throwing the ring away settles it: he's not a hero anymore, he's a parasite; when did LOTR become The Gollum Show?
- the Scouring of the Shire totally negates the original message
- Rosie takes too much time away from Sam; she's clearly evil, and pushy, and though she hardly gets any lines, she
should shut up!
- what? Tolkien, you bastard, you broke up Frodo and Sam! Sell-out!
- we never got any resolution to that incident in the Downs, and what happened to the crucial Tom Bombadil storyline anyway?
If LOTR were a new work-in-progress in this day and age, people would certainly complain like this:
- why keep the Fellowship separated! We want more Fellowship vibe!
- everything after FOTR sucks
- Tolkien is losing it with all these new characters; he's spreading himself thin
- this Eowyn is taking time away from our heroes, and besides, she's such a Mary Sue; she even gets to win a crucial duel!
- Tolkien's a total sell-out if he doesn't have Gimli and Legolas declare their love for each other!
- The whole "Gandalf the White" storyline completely destroys my ability to take death seriously in LotR!
-Oh, sure, Boromir suddenly comes up with a little *brother*. The story's ruined!
- Frodo doesn't appreciate Sam enough. Sam's the real hero of the story!
- Gollum is destroying the Sam/Frodo relationship! Get rid of him!
- What the heck happened to Frodo's characterisation? He's closing himself off, we don't know what's going on with him - this isn't the hobbit we signed up for!
- Bring back Boromir!
- Frodo not throwing the ring away settles it: he's not a hero anymore, he's a parasite; when did LOTR become The Gollum Show?
- the Scouring of the Shire totally negates the original message
- Rosie takes too much time away from Sam; she's clearly evil, and pushy, and though she hardly gets any lines, she
should shut up!
- what? Tolkien, you bastard, you broke up Frodo and Sam! Sell-out!
- we never got any resolution to that incident in the Downs, and what happened to the crucial Tom Bombadil storyline anyway?
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 03:09 am (UTC)Love this. So very true.
(
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 03:29 am (UTC)I'm not quite sure I get it. What do you mean "if"? Those are among the complaints I've heard from several Tolkien readers anyway. Some of them even have a point.
Thus proving myself to have no sense of humour, I know...
I'm aware that some of these...
Date: 2003-06-05 04:09 am (UTC)Glad to amuse...
Date: 2003-06-05 04:09 am (UTC)Re: I'm aware that some of these...
Date: 2003-06-05 04:25 am (UTC)Re: I'm aware that some of these...
Date: 2003-06-05 04:43 am (UTC)Re: Glad to amuse...
Date: 2003-06-05 04:59 am (UTC)Although, to be honest, I don't know much about soaps, never having watched any. I just know all the general tidbits that are seemingly absorbed via some sort of pop culture osmosis... & ;-)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 05:10 am (UTC)Re: I'm aware that some of these...
Date: 2003-06-05 05:32 am (UTC)Okay then, let's hear it for Dickens...
Date: 2003-06-05 06:08 am (UTC)Re: Okay then, let's hear it for Dickens...
Date: 2003-06-05 08:33 am (UTC)"What's the deal with this Dora? Is that Mr. Dickens' idea of a good wife for his main character?"
"They *killed Dora*! Mr. Dickens hates women! Haven't we had enough sacrifices of women to make the men look all noble and tragical?"
"The only person I like is a manhating old nutter. Is Mr. Dickens trying to tell me something?"
"Mr. Dickens makes fun of the mentally disabled. Is this really morally acceptable entertainment?"
"David needs to get over Dora right now and get someone new."
"I hate that Agnes girl's sanctimonious little ass. God, is she ever going to be Mrs. Trying."
"Can't Mr. Dickens at least *attempt* to provide his villains with some sort of motive?"
"I know. It's my fault. I suggested that Mr. Dickens provided his villains with a motive. I'm solely responsible for Uriah Heep."
hmmm... can't think of any more right now.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 09:45 am (UTC)this isn't the hobbit we signed up for!
*snerk*
Re: Okay then, let's hear it for Dickens...
Date: 2003-06-06 01:01 am (UTC)How very 'umble of you.
More fannish complaints:
(Re: Dora): God, David is so marrying his mother. Does this creep out anyone else?
Bring back the David/Steeforth HoYay! Why does Dickens keep inflicting these simpering damsels on the boys?
How often do we have to endure Dickens resolving his 10-children issues by killing of kids in fiction?
Re: Okay then, let's hear it for Dickens...
Date: 2003-06-06 01:26 am (UTC)