I really, really hate the thought of Eight not being the one to fight the Time War. There's something beautiful about the metaphor of the war to end all wars happening to such an Edwardian fop

This :( It's just such a tragically perfect concept for a character arc, you know? Although...there's the possibility that even though Eleven knew all about Hurt!Doctor, he could still be a future regeneration. I mean, it would fit Moffat's loose view of time travel and crossing timelines, and how he knew about where his grave was and all that stuff. Unless I'm missing something that said no, this isn't a future regeneration?

And of course, there's the possibility that Hurt!Doctor had a very short life, that Eight died near the end of the war, regenerated, wiped everyone out, and regenerated again right afterwards. Or also, since the Valeyard wasn't exactly one particular regeneration either, maybe whoever Hurt!Doctor is isn't simply Proper Nine.