There's still something....er, saucy about sexual aggression in women

Yeah, that sort of saddened me about the Faith/Xander thing. Because Faith being all sexually aggressive and assertive? Is hot! Do want! But not with a nonconsenting partner.

*goes away mumbling about the rareness of consensual F/m relationships or, indeed, female agency in fictional sex*

But yes, in general, I'm going to find male on female rape a lot more triggery, because of RL and common fictional depictions. Though a counterexample to that is Ariane Emory in CJ Cherryh's Cyteen, which is a female on male rape that wigs me out worse than even most m/f ones. I had a hard time finishing that book, and haven't reread it. She's one of those rapists with a reason, though: she sets up the rape of a young man on purpose, not because she thinks he's hot necessarily, but so that he will be fucked up in the head later in a way that she can use. Which, to me, is almost worse than the rape itself. But no one said that Ari I was a moral person. (Ari II, who has to deal with all of this as a child coming into the situation unawares, I have more sympathy for.)