Let's see..

Meme from 3jane:

1) Sally forth to Fanfiction.net. Gird thy loins. Plunge in.

2) Choose a book, movie, show, etc. you have never heard of (or, in a pinch, at least one you know nothing about aside from the name) that has at least ten fics listed.

3) Read only the first page of story summaries.

4) Using what you have learned from these summaries, describe what this book/movie/whatever is about. Be as silly as you like, but ONLY use whatever you just learned...

I picked Ginger Snaps, because ide_cyan keeps telling me I must watch it, and one of these days, I certainly shall. So, my strictly FFN one page based impressions:

The main character is someone named Brigitte, who gets slashed with Ginger. One of them has just come out (or gone into) the closet. There is also a person named Sam around who might be of either gender. (Since I know three female characters in genre fiction who are named "Sam".)

As to what their profession might be, their age, or what they're doing aside from being in or out of a closet, FFN has not revealed...