Oddly, with SPN, I find ignoring the fandom in large part but reading the fic has made me very very happy - the fic is pretty awesome. Though I actually steer away from the inevitable Connor crossovers. I always remember the story where Connor's eyes were brown! Or the people who loudly disliked Connor when they watched Angel and now used him for m/m stories with Sam.

And I should probably accept that the only Connor I like in fanfiction is written by you and a few others.

My version of your anti-kink is a staunch refusal to read anything where someone tells me "you don't need to know the fandom."