Well now...
Jul. 18th, 2010 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
selenakWeird but interesting things you find on the internet, #256644: Revolutionary Chaos Tape, aka the transcription of a stream-of-consciousness rambling tape Yoko Ono made on June 4th, 1968, during the White Album recordings. Not easy to follow, and a good demonstration why supposed stream-of-consciousness monologues like Molly Bloom's in Ulysses are actually very artfully crafted, because there you never have a problem of understanding the transitions from one subject to another and the associations. But interesting because it's something spoken without the benefit of hindsight or the distortion of memory we all do when looking back at the past, and in parts at completely at odds, in part confirming with the image the biographies present.
For example, I'm not surprised Yoko is worried about her daughter (you know, the one who was never even acknowledged to exist in Lennon Naked), as in: "I’m very worried about Kyoko. I hope she doesn’t resent me when she gets older, about this incident, but things will be much better, we have to knock wood for that, cross fingers." But there is a hell of a lot more insecurity regarding the relationship with John Lennon than I expected, given that no matter whether the biographer in question is completely pro-Yoko like Philip Norman or anti Yoko like Albert Goldman, the impression is one of of utter confidence as far as Yoko is concerned, in both herself and the relationship. So colour me stunned to read that in June 1968 at least, she was jealous of Cynthia Lennon and afraid John would return to her. (Bear in mind that Yoko has Instant Love Of His Life status and Cynthia is The Girlfriend From Art College He Married Because She Got Pregnant.) It's one of those things that reminds me that events always play out differently for the participants during than we perceive them afterwards (with the awareness that John erased Cynthia from his life with lightning speed):
"If anybody in the world would know how I feel now, because I’m the most insecure person in the world right now. Is this what love is? It’s so unfair that you have to suffer so much for loving someone. John is not here, he went out into the hall. I don’t know for what. He’s out for a long time. I think probably he’s calling home, I don’t know. He’s been with her for over a decade and their other child, I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to think about it. It’s either that he had a terribly weak character or he was in love to her. I just don’t want to think about it. I’ve never been with anyone for so long so I wouldn’t know. If I think very hard, then I know, I mean I don’t even think I have to think hard, I just get so jealous about it I almost think I’m going to go insane."
And then there are Those Other Three Guys. Here in biographies we have a case of who said what when (the two extremes of presentation being "three male chauvinists can not deal with a strong woman in the studio" versus "ever-present intruder at John's side drives musicians crazy during recording process via constant interruptions", with some biographers going for a happy (err, not) middle), so it's interesting to have a Yoko pov pre-Beatles break-up of them and how she sees their attitude towards her:
"After the initial embarrassment, that how Paul is being very nice to me, he’s nice and a very, str- on the level, straight, sense, like wherever there’s something like happening at the Apple, he explains to me, as if I should know. And also whenever there’s something like they need a light man, or something like that he asks me if I know of anybody, things like that. And like I can see that he’s just now suddenly changing his attitude, like his being, he’s treating me with respect, not because it’s me, but because I belong to John. I hope that’s what it is because that would be nice. And I feel like he’s my younger brother or something like that. I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul. (...) And probably among those three people of George and Ringo and Paul. Paul is the one I feel the vibration, sort of sense it. You know, ‘cause Ringo and George, I just can’t communicate. I mean, I’m sure that George and Ringo, they’re very nice people. That’s not the point."
Err. "Because I belong to John" is not how I expected a feminist to phrase it, but oka, she's speaking of how she sees Paul McCartney's attitude. Though "I'm sure if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat" isn't exactly feminist, either. (Also interesting to compare with a 1971 interview with Peter McCabe where after a somewhat bitchy remark of John's about Linda McCartney ("The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him") Yoko softens it with an intended compliment: "She's not the kind of woman who would antagonize other women. She is a nice person who is uptight like her brother, John, but not that uptight. There was a nice quality about her. As a women she doesn't offend you because she doesn't come on like a coquettish bird, you know?" Even in the negation, the "another woman is by default a threat" assumption is there, which I suppose is a symptom of the times as much as anything else. Also depressing, because I suspect it's not as much a thing of the past as one would hope.
For example, I'm not surprised Yoko is worried about her daughter (you know, the one who was never even acknowledged to exist in Lennon Naked), as in: "I’m very worried about Kyoko. I hope she doesn’t resent me when she gets older, about this incident, but things will be much better, we have to knock wood for that, cross fingers." But there is a hell of a lot more insecurity regarding the relationship with John Lennon than I expected, given that no matter whether the biographer in question is completely pro-Yoko like Philip Norman or anti Yoko like Albert Goldman, the impression is one of of utter confidence as far as Yoko is concerned, in both herself and the relationship. So colour me stunned to read that in June 1968 at least, she was jealous of Cynthia Lennon and afraid John would return to her. (Bear in mind that Yoko has Instant Love Of His Life status and Cynthia is The Girlfriend From Art College He Married Because She Got Pregnant.) It's one of those things that reminds me that events always play out differently for the participants during than we perceive them afterwards (with the awareness that John erased Cynthia from his life with lightning speed):
"If anybody in the world would know how I feel now, because I’m the most insecure person in the world right now. Is this what love is? It’s so unfair that you have to suffer so much for loving someone. John is not here, he went out into the hall. I don’t know for what. He’s out for a long time. I think probably he’s calling home, I don’t know. He’s been with her for over a decade and their other child, I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to think about it. It’s either that he had a terribly weak character or he was in love to her. I just don’t want to think about it. I’ve never been with anyone for so long so I wouldn’t know. If I think very hard, then I know, I mean I don’t even think I have to think hard, I just get so jealous about it I almost think I’m going to go insane."
And then there are Those Other Three Guys. Here in biographies we have a case of who said what when (the two extremes of presentation being "three male chauvinists can not deal with a strong woman in the studio" versus "ever-present intruder at John's side drives musicians crazy during recording process via constant interruptions", with some biographers going for a happy (err, not) middle), so it's interesting to have a Yoko pov pre-Beatles break-up of them and how she sees their attitude towards her:
"After the initial embarrassment, that how Paul is being very nice to me, he’s nice and a very, str- on the level, straight, sense, like wherever there’s something like happening at the Apple, he explains to me, as if I should know. And also whenever there’s something like they need a light man, or something like that he asks me if I know of anybody, things like that. And like I can see that he’s just now suddenly changing his attitude, like his being, he’s treating me with respect, not because it’s me, but because I belong to John. I hope that’s what it is because that would be nice. And I feel like he’s my younger brother or something like that. I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul. (...) And probably among those three people of George and Ringo and Paul. Paul is the one I feel the vibration, sort of sense it. You know, ‘cause Ringo and George, I just can’t communicate. I mean, I’m sure that George and Ringo, they’re very nice people. That’s not the point."
Err. "Because I belong to John" is not how I expected a feminist to phrase it, but oka, she's speaking of how she sees Paul McCartney's attitude. Though "I'm sure if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat" isn't exactly feminist, either. (Also interesting to compare with a 1971 interview with Peter McCabe where after a somewhat bitchy remark of John's about Linda McCartney ("The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him") Yoko softens it with an intended compliment: "She's not the kind of woman who would antagonize other women. She is a nice person who is uptight like her brother, John, but not that uptight. There was a nice quality about her. As a women she doesn't offend you because she doesn't come on like a coquettish bird, you know?" Even in the negation, the "another woman is by default a threat" assumption is there, which I suppose is a symptom of the times as much as anything else. Also depressing, because I suspect it's not as much a thing of the past as one would hope.
