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selenakMy Blake's 7 DVDs have arrived, which is great. Am still torn as to whether or not I want to buy season 3 of Angel, i.e. whether the plus of Darla and Wesley and Holtz and Justine makes up for the horror of C/A and St. Cordy. I do want season 4, though.
Something else I received is the BBC four-parter about Charles II. Obviously based on Antonia Fraser's biography, and very well acted. I dare say there are some of the most sexual scenes on British TV ever (sexual, not sexy, there is a difference), and the best thing is that they're part of the charactersation and drama, not coy fluff. Rufus Sewell as Charles is certainly better and more interesting than in the other parts I've seen him play, and I hardly recognised Rupert Graves as Buckingham. Must watch out now for Helen McCroy, who played Barbara Villiers. And my, was that Christian "Tom Riddle" Coulson as Monmouth?
There has been an ongoing debate on Scorpius and John Crichton in various ljs; the most recent summary, which basically has me saying "me, too", can be found here. And no, I will not write a "Five things which never happened between John and Scorpius". Enough is enough.
(Otoh, I am more curious than ever about![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ruuger's "Five Things Which Never Happened To Londo Mollari". Andraste has just watched and reviewed
In The Beginning, which reminds me of yet more possibilities there.
Now, on to the last AU for the intrepid Bajoran (Ladies first)/ Cardassian duo. Now, I had one story in which Kira kills Dukat. I had one story in which Dukat kills Kira. I had one story in which they have sex but she's thinking about someone else entirely. I had one in which they mostly do what they do at that point in canon and where Dukat is actually shown as capable of having a good relationship, albeit not with Kira. So what remains, obviously, is a story in which Kira and Dukat... well, read for yourself. Warning tobloodraven77: on second thought, you probably won't enjoy it. It might be the darkest of the lot. So, here it is: the fifth and last of the Five Things Which Never Happened Between Kira and Dukat. Set entirely pre-series, though it starts at the period shown in the season 6 episode Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night. And it's...wrong.*g*
V. Wrongs Darker than Death or Night
Meru was, as both her friends and enemies would agree, a gentle woman. She had not known what it was to hate until she was given the news about Taban's death. Oh, she believed she had hated the Cardassians in her old life, and the man who had scared her face, but it had been an almost perfunctory feeling when compared with the rage that consumed her when she heard about Taban, hanged in that newly regained home, with the letters "The rewards of collaboration" written on the wall next to him.
Her hate was fuelled by guilt. Someone in the Resistance must have managed to find out where the money for food and medicine Taban was receiving came from, must have investigated his story about her death at the camp and tracked her to Terok Nor. Given the attempt to kill Dukat and herself only a few weeks ago, she should not have been surprised. She knew all too well that what Luma, her white face stricken with disgust, had told her was what most people would think. But she had never, not even in her wildest nightmares, imagined that someone would hold Taban responsible.
His message, his kind, loving words, telling her he and the children owed their life to her, that he was proud of her and understood, had both broken her heart and soothed the pain. And now he had paid for this kindness with his life. "You killed him, you bitch," his sister had said, who had only learned that Meru was still alive when Meru in her panic had contacted everyone she knew to find out where the children were. Of course, she refused to tell Meru about the children.
"You don't deserve to be their mother. Do you want to ruin their lives as well?"
Once, she would have taken this as she had taken Luma's condemnation, as a judgement from the Prophets. But Taban's death changed everything. She did not believe the Prophets walked with the Resistance any longer. Anyone who killed a good man like Taban, anyone who approved of such an action, had lost their right to pass judgement on her.
When Meru trusted her voice again, she went to Dukat and asked that the children be brought to her, by force, if necessary.
"Are you sure that's wise, my dear?" he replied gently. "I have two children, I know how you must miss yours, but if they were living with me here, they would be targets as well. And this would be true of your children, too."
"Maybe," Meru said, feeling the salt of her dried tears burning on her face. "But they are not safe on Bajor, either, and I do not want them with these people anymore."
Sometimes, she was still shy about touching him on her own initiative. Not now. She stretched out her hand and let it linger on his cheek.
"Please," she said. "I want my children."
For a moment, there was something measuring her in his eyes, but then he turned his head, caught her hand and kissed it.
"Whatever makes you happy, my dear."
The children were afraid and confused at first, of course. Taban had not exaggerated in his message; with the regular food, they had already grown. They looked blessedly healthy, but losing their mother and then their father had left their marks. When the Cardassian soldiers brought them to her, they cried. Meru showered them with kisses, but it took hours to calm them down. Pol and Rion were not able to speak yet; Nerys, though, was.
"The 'oonheads made Aunt go still, so still," Nerys finally whispered in her ear. Meru could find no pity in her heart for the woman who had danced at her wedding.
"It's alright, pet," she soothed. "It's over."
"Will Dada come back, too?"
A comforting lie was on her lips, something like "one day", or that the Prophets would reunite them eventually. But there was something in her little daughter's gaze that demanded to be told the truth.
"No, Nerys," Meru answered.
The child's lips trembled, but she did not cry again.
"Why not?"
"Bad people took him from us", Meru declared with renewed bitterness. She hadn't heard Dukat entering behind her, but now she heard his voice saying:
"That's right. Bad people did. But that will not happen again."
He knelt down next to her, so his face was on a level with hers. Some part of her wondered whether his own family had taught him that speaking to children from a great height only intimidated them, or whether it was intuition.
"Your mother will be safe, and your brothers, and yourself. This I promise."
"Safe" wasn't a concept anyone of them was familiar with, and Meru doubted her little Nerys had learned the word yet. But the girl stared at Dukat in fascination. She had seen Cardassians before, though Meru and Taban had always taken care to keep their children as far from them as possible. Meru was almost certain that no Cardassian had ever been that close. Nerys squinted.
"Bring Dada back!" she demanded.
"Ah," Dukat said in that low, calm voice which had been the first thing that she had liked about him, which had stopped the frightened terror in her own heart when she met him and started to kindle hope as well as fascination. "That is the one thing which I cannot do, I'm afraid."
The child scowled at him.
"But I did bring your mother back, didn't I?" he said, smiling at the girl. Nerys looked confused, but slowly, the scowl vanished and made room for curiosity. She tilted her head, and her arms, which had been clasped around Meru's neck, relaxed a bit.
"What is her name?" Dukat asked Meru. Before Meru could reply, the girl said:
"Nerys."
Meru was amazed. Nerys usually was so shy about talking to strangers; it hadn't been so many weeks ago that the girl had not dared to address Luma directly but had whispered her questions into her mother's ear. Dukat really was good with children.
"Kira Nerys," Dukat said, "you and I are going to be the best of friends."
When Pol and Rion grew older, they had no memories of Taban, though Meru took care to tell them about the good man their father had been. Nerys, on the other hand, did remember, but when she was ten, she told Meru she didn't want to talk about him anymore. This saddened Meru, and yet she understood. Nerys loved Dukat with a fierce, jealous devotion that made the girl resent each time Dukat went to Cardassia to visit his other family. She wanted to imagine herself as his only daughter, and him as her true father, and did not want to remember a time when this had not been so.
"Why does he have to go back to them all the time?" she once asked Meru. "They are not really his family. We are. It's not fair!"
Maybe if Nerys would have had friends and a larger family, she would have been better at sharing. But as things were, Meru and her children were envied by the other Bajoran women who were kept by Cardassians. Most of them would never have dared to bring their children to their fathers' attention, let alone live with them. As for the other Bajorans, the workers in orb processing and their families, the only thing that kept them from spitting out at the sight of Meru or the children was fear of punishment.
Then there was the constant, nagging threat of assassination. Nerys might not want to talk about Taban, yet she knew very well who had been responsible for his death.
"I hate being a Bajoran," she told Meru, after there had been yet another bombing which led to Dukat being summoned to Cardassia and a series of reprisals after his return. Walking through Terok Nor afterwards was walking through a thick, heavy silence.
"They are not all terrorists, Nerys," Meru replied, and distantly wondered when she had started to automatically speak of "terrorists" rather than to call them the "Resistance", and of "them" instead of "us".
"They might as well be," Nerus declared darkly. "All they can do is kill Cardassians and other Bajorans, and then even more of them die. It's so…stupid!"
Meru made an effort.
"It will be over one day, Nerys. And Bajor has an heritage we can be proud of."
Nerys hugged her. Soon, she would turn eleven. She wore her long, red hair in a complicated braid, Cardassian-style, with needles Dukat had given her as a surprise after his last journey.
"I know you think so, Mother. And I love your icons, I really do. But I'm sorry, I don't think that superstition about the Prophets is anything to be proud of."
"They walk with us," Meru said, somewhat shocked though she only visited the temple very rarely these days. The silent accusations in everyone's eyes when she did were not easy to bear.
"If they walk with us, they haven't done anything for us, have they?" Nerys said fiercely. "The only one who ever did that was Father."
She did not mean Taban.
"I'm worried about Nerys," Meru confided to Dukat when they were at bed that night, which by itself was an amazingly regular event, even after all these years. She knew that, leaving his wife aside, he wasn't completely faithful to her, but she also knew he would not dream of installing another woman in her place. When she had first become his mistress, one of the other women, who had been on the station for a longer time without ever managing to get one Cardassian officer to keep her for longer than a few nights, had told her she was lucky.
"Not just because he's the prefect," the other woman had declared, hungry envy in her voice. "That one absolutely wants to be loved and believe himself to be in love. He'll never kick you out; that would destroy the game."
Years later, as he held her in his arms and she felt enveloped by the only warmth and security she had ever been able to trust, she couldn't say the woman had been wrong. And yet it had been to easy an assessment. There was a saying in Dakhur province about seeing someone's true face if his life was threatened. During the first weeks with Dukat, she had been afraid, attracted and desperately eager to believe, but she had not started to love him until Luma, the woman she had trusted as her friend, had tried to kill the both of them. When the bomb exploded, Dukat had not sought to save himself first. He had cried out her name and covered her with his body, and afterwards, he had checked on her before doing anything else. In a way, Meru supposed that Luma had sealed their union.
It had been a long time since then; she had seen him go from the young prefect who believed he could make a difference to a more cynical man who had repeatedly stated it would take a miracle to end the ongoing cycle of attacks and retribution. She had seen him show weaknesses; she had experienced him make mistakes. But she had never known him to stop caring about her or her children, and for that, she would always love him.
He could still manage to surprise her, though. She had expected him to tell her not to worry, that Nerys was a fine girl. Instead, he murmured:
"So am I."
"You are?"
"I'm not blind, Meru," Dukat said. "Nerys and her brothers are not really part of Bajor or Cardassia. Now as long as they are children, that will not matter. But only a few more years, and Nerys will be grown up. With her spirit, she will not be content to live as a Bajoran on Bajor. Yet on Cardassia, they would only ever see her as one. They would see the ridges of her nose and think of the terrorism, instead of valuing her as she should be valued."
"What can we do for her, my love?" Meru asked, feeling his hand stroke over her hair. His voice came floating to her in the darkness as he replied, thoughtfully, slowly:
"Your daughter is the embodiment of the new Bajor, Meru. Bajor as it should be, Bajoran beauty married to a Cardassian soul. Why not give her the freedom to reflect that?"
"What do you mean?"
He explained it to her. She had not known Cardassian surgeons were capable of something like this, but Dukat told her that the Obsidian Order prided itself on far more difficult transformations, and that one of their agents owed him a debt he would only be too glad to call in for Nerys' sake. Still, Meru could not help her first instinctive reaction, which was to be revolted. It went against she had ever been taught about the will of the Prophets.
Then again, as Nerys had put it with the blunt cruelty of youth, the Prophets had never done anything for her.
Meru resolved on leaving the decision to Nerys. They did not tell her immediately; obviously, eleven was not nearly old enough to make such a choice. But when Nerys was close to completing her thirteenth year, Meru felt a knot in the stomach which turned out to be far more serious than she had believed at first. After several diagnoses and operations by the best physicians Dukat could find, it was obvious that this was something she would not escape from. There would not be much more time to watch Nerys grow; she would have to tell her now.
"Do you understand what this would mean?" she asked Nerys, after Dukat, who was always better at these things, had finished explaining. "Do you think you could do it?"
Nerys, who did not know yet about Meru's own fate, beamed at her and in her impulsive way threw her arms around both of them.
"Oh Mother, Father, of course I could! It's what I always wanted. Thank you! Oh, thank you!"
She was so young. But what had been said two years ago was still true, and this way, at least one world would be open to her.
"I will miss your red hair," Meru said wistfully, and took the long braid into her hands.
The boys were somewhat disturbed when they saw their sister again. But the doctor treating Meru, a Bajoran scientist named Tora Naprem, quickly distracted them by offering to show them the new discovery of Dr. Mora's everyone was talking about, a strange substance that could change its shape. When they were gone, Meru, the pain in her body somewhat lessened by all the medication and the sight of Nerys and Dukat smiling at her, stretched out both hands to them, and they knelt down beside her.
"Are you happy, Nerys?" Meru asked, looking at her daughter's gray face with the faint blue spot in the middle, the black hair falling down, elegantly braided, the neck ridges forming a curve as Nerys laid down her head in her mothers' lap.
"It's Iliana now," Nerys murmured. "But yes, I am. If you get better soon."
Over her head, so familiar and yet so strange in its Cardassian shape, Meru's and Dukat's eyes met.
"It might not be possible, my darling," Meru said gently. "But you will have your father to look after you."
Something else I received is the BBC four-parter about Charles II. Obviously based on Antonia Fraser's biography, and very well acted. I dare say there are some of the most sexual scenes on British TV ever (sexual, not sexy, there is a difference), and the best thing is that they're part of the charactersation and drama, not coy fluff. Rufus Sewell as Charles is certainly better and more interesting than in the other parts I've seen him play, and I hardly recognised Rupert Graves as Buckingham. Must watch out now for Helen McCroy, who played Barbara Villiers. And my, was that Christian "Tom Riddle" Coulson as Monmouth?
There has been an ongoing debate on Scorpius and John Crichton in various ljs; the most recent summary, which basically has me saying "me, too", can be found here. And no, I will not write a "Five things which never happened between John and Scorpius". Enough is enough.
(Otoh, I am more curious than ever about
ruuger's "Five Things Which Never Happened To Londo Mollari". Andraste has just watched and reviewedIn The Beginning, which reminds me of yet more possibilities there.
Now, on to the last AU for the intrepid Bajoran (Ladies first)/ Cardassian duo. Now, I had one story in which Kira kills Dukat. I had one story in which Dukat kills Kira. I had one story in which they have sex but she's thinking about someone else entirely. I had one in which they mostly do what they do at that point in canon and where Dukat is actually shown as capable of having a good relationship, albeit not with Kira. So what remains, obviously, is a story in which Kira and Dukat... well, read for yourself. Warning to
bloodraven77: on second thought, you probably won't enjoy it. It might be the darkest of the lot. So, here it is: the fifth and last of the Five Things Which Never Happened Between Kira and Dukat. Set entirely pre-series, though it starts at the period shown in the season 6 episode Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night. And it's...wrong.*g*V. Wrongs Darker than Death or Night
Meru was, as both her friends and enemies would agree, a gentle woman. She had not known what it was to hate until she was given the news about Taban's death. Oh, she believed she had hated the Cardassians in her old life, and the man who had scared her face, but it had been an almost perfunctory feeling when compared with the rage that consumed her when she heard about Taban, hanged in that newly regained home, with the letters "The rewards of collaboration" written on the wall next to him.
Her hate was fuelled by guilt. Someone in the Resistance must have managed to find out where the money for food and medicine Taban was receiving came from, must have investigated his story about her death at the camp and tracked her to Terok Nor. Given the attempt to kill Dukat and herself only a few weeks ago, she should not have been surprised. She knew all too well that what Luma, her white face stricken with disgust, had told her was what most people would think. But she had never, not even in her wildest nightmares, imagined that someone would hold Taban responsible.
His message, his kind, loving words, telling her he and the children owed their life to her, that he was proud of her and understood, had both broken her heart and soothed the pain. And now he had paid for this kindness with his life. "You killed him, you bitch," his sister had said, who had only learned that Meru was still alive when Meru in her panic had contacted everyone she knew to find out where the children were. Of course, she refused to tell Meru about the children.
"You don't deserve to be their mother. Do you want to ruin their lives as well?"
Once, she would have taken this as she had taken Luma's condemnation, as a judgement from the Prophets. But Taban's death changed everything. She did not believe the Prophets walked with the Resistance any longer. Anyone who killed a good man like Taban, anyone who approved of such an action, had lost their right to pass judgement on her.
When Meru trusted her voice again, she went to Dukat and asked that the children be brought to her, by force, if necessary.
"Are you sure that's wise, my dear?" he replied gently. "I have two children, I know how you must miss yours, but if they were living with me here, they would be targets as well. And this would be true of your children, too."
"Maybe," Meru said, feeling the salt of her dried tears burning on her face. "But they are not safe on Bajor, either, and I do not want them with these people anymore."
Sometimes, she was still shy about touching him on her own initiative. Not now. She stretched out her hand and let it linger on his cheek.
"Please," she said. "I want my children."
For a moment, there was something measuring her in his eyes, but then he turned his head, caught her hand and kissed it.
"Whatever makes you happy, my dear."
The children were afraid and confused at first, of course. Taban had not exaggerated in his message; with the regular food, they had already grown. They looked blessedly healthy, but losing their mother and then their father had left their marks. When the Cardassian soldiers brought them to her, they cried. Meru showered them with kisses, but it took hours to calm them down. Pol and Rion were not able to speak yet; Nerys, though, was.
"The 'oonheads made Aunt go still, so still," Nerys finally whispered in her ear. Meru could find no pity in her heart for the woman who had danced at her wedding.
"It's alright, pet," she soothed. "It's over."
"Will Dada come back, too?"
A comforting lie was on her lips, something like "one day", or that the Prophets would reunite them eventually. But there was something in her little daughter's gaze that demanded to be told the truth.
"No, Nerys," Meru answered.
The child's lips trembled, but she did not cry again.
"Why not?"
"Bad people took him from us", Meru declared with renewed bitterness. She hadn't heard Dukat entering behind her, but now she heard his voice saying:
"That's right. Bad people did. But that will not happen again."
He knelt down next to her, so his face was on a level with hers. Some part of her wondered whether his own family had taught him that speaking to children from a great height only intimidated them, or whether it was intuition.
"Your mother will be safe, and your brothers, and yourself. This I promise."
"Safe" wasn't a concept anyone of them was familiar with, and Meru doubted her little Nerys had learned the word yet. But the girl stared at Dukat in fascination. She had seen Cardassians before, though Meru and Taban had always taken care to keep their children as far from them as possible. Meru was almost certain that no Cardassian had ever been that close. Nerys squinted.
"Bring Dada back!" she demanded.
"Ah," Dukat said in that low, calm voice which had been the first thing that she had liked about him, which had stopped the frightened terror in her own heart when she met him and started to kindle hope as well as fascination. "That is the one thing which I cannot do, I'm afraid."
The child scowled at him.
"But I did bring your mother back, didn't I?" he said, smiling at the girl. Nerys looked confused, but slowly, the scowl vanished and made room for curiosity. She tilted her head, and her arms, which had been clasped around Meru's neck, relaxed a bit.
"What is her name?" Dukat asked Meru. Before Meru could reply, the girl said:
"Nerys."
Meru was amazed. Nerys usually was so shy about talking to strangers; it hadn't been so many weeks ago that the girl had not dared to address Luma directly but had whispered her questions into her mother's ear. Dukat really was good with children.
"Kira Nerys," Dukat said, "you and I are going to be the best of friends."
When Pol and Rion grew older, they had no memories of Taban, though Meru took care to tell them about the good man their father had been. Nerys, on the other hand, did remember, but when she was ten, she told Meru she didn't want to talk about him anymore. This saddened Meru, and yet she understood. Nerys loved Dukat with a fierce, jealous devotion that made the girl resent each time Dukat went to Cardassia to visit his other family. She wanted to imagine herself as his only daughter, and him as her true father, and did not want to remember a time when this had not been so.
"Why does he have to go back to them all the time?" she once asked Meru. "They are not really his family. We are. It's not fair!"
Maybe if Nerys would have had friends and a larger family, she would have been better at sharing. But as things were, Meru and her children were envied by the other Bajoran women who were kept by Cardassians. Most of them would never have dared to bring their children to their fathers' attention, let alone live with them. As for the other Bajorans, the workers in orb processing and their families, the only thing that kept them from spitting out at the sight of Meru or the children was fear of punishment.
Then there was the constant, nagging threat of assassination. Nerys might not want to talk about Taban, yet she knew very well who had been responsible for his death.
"I hate being a Bajoran," she told Meru, after there had been yet another bombing which led to Dukat being summoned to Cardassia and a series of reprisals after his return. Walking through Terok Nor afterwards was walking through a thick, heavy silence.
"They are not all terrorists, Nerys," Meru replied, and distantly wondered when she had started to automatically speak of "terrorists" rather than to call them the "Resistance", and of "them" instead of "us".
"They might as well be," Nerus declared darkly. "All they can do is kill Cardassians and other Bajorans, and then even more of them die. It's so…stupid!"
Meru made an effort.
"It will be over one day, Nerys. And Bajor has an heritage we can be proud of."
Nerys hugged her. Soon, she would turn eleven. She wore her long, red hair in a complicated braid, Cardassian-style, with needles Dukat had given her as a surprise after his last journey.
"I know you think so, Mother. And I love your icons, I really do. But I'm sorry, I don't think that superstition about the Prophets is anything to be proud of."
"They walk with us," Meru said, somewhat shocked though she only visited the temple very rarely these days. The silent accusations in everyone's eyes when she did were not easy to bear.
"If they walk with us, they haven't done anything for us, have they?" Nerys said fiercely. "The only one who ever did that was Father."
She did not mean Taban.
"I'm worried about Nerys," Meru confided to Dukat when they were at bed that night, which by itself was an amazingly regular event, even after all these years. She knew that, leaving his wife aside, he wasn't completely faithful to her, but she also knew he would not dream of installing another woman in her place. When she had first become his mistress, one of the other women, who had been on the station for a longer time without ever managing to get one Cardassian officer to keep her for longer than a few nights, had told her she was lucky.
"Not just because he's the prefect," the other woman had declared, hungry envy in her voice. "That one absolutely wants to be loved and believe himself to be in love. He'll never kick you out; that would destroy the game."
Years later, as he held her in his arms and she felt enveloped by the only warmth and security she had ever been able to trust, she couldn't say the woman had been wrong. And yet it had been to easy an assessment. There was a saying in Dakhur province about seeing someone's true face if his life was threatened. During the first weeks with Dukat, she had been afraid, attracted and desperately eager to believe, but she had not started to love him until Luma, the woman she had trusted as her friend, had tried to kill the both of them. When the bomb exploded, Dukat had not sought to save himself first. He had cried out her name and covered her with his body, and afterwards, he had checked on her before doing anything else. In a way, Meru supposed that Luma had sealed their union.
It had been a long time since then; she had seen him go from the young prefect who believed he could make a difference to a more cynical man who had repeatedly stated it would take a miracle to end the ongoing cycle of attacks and retribution. She had seen him show weaknesses; she had experienced him make mistakes. But she had never known him to stop caring about her or her children, and for that, she would always love him.
He could still manage to surprise her, though. She had expected him to tell her not to worry, that Nerys was a fine girl. Instead, he murmured:
"So am I."
"You are?"
"I'm not blind, Meru," Dukat said. "Nerys and her brothers are not really part of Bajor or Cardassia. Now as long as they are children, that will not matter. But only a few more years, and Nerys will be grown up. With her spirit, she will not be content to live as a Bajoran on Bajor. Yet on Cardassia, they would only ever see her as one. They would see the ridges of her nose and think of the terrorism, instead of valuing her as she should be valued."
"What can we do for her, my love?" Meru asked, feeling his hand stroke over her hair. His voice came floating to her in the darkness as he replied, thoughtfully, slowly:
"Your daughter is the embodiment of the new Bajor, Meru. Bajor as it should be, Bajoran beauty married to a Cardassian soul. Why not give her the freedom to reflect that?"
"What do you mean?"
He explained it to her. She had not known Cardassian surgeons were capable of something like this, but Dukat told her that the Obsidian Order prided itself on far more difficult transformations, and that one of their agents owed him a debt he would only be too glad to call in for Nerys' sake. Still, Meru could not help her first instinctive reaction, which was to be revolted. It went against she had ever been taught about the will of the Prophets.
Then again, as Nerys had put it with the blunt cruelty of youth, the Prophets had never done anything for her.
Meru resolved on leaving the decision to Nerys. They did not tell her immediately; obviously, eleven was not nearly old enough to make such a choice. But when Nerys was close to completing her thirteenth year, Meru felt a knot in the stomach which turned out to be far more serious than she had believed at first. After several diagnoses and operations by the best physicians Dukat could find, it was obvious that this was something she would not escape from. There would not be much more time to watch Nerys grow; she would have to tell her now.
"Do you understand what this would mean?" she asked Nerys, after Dukat, who was always better at these things, had finished explaining. "Do you think you could do it?"
Nerys, who did not know yet about Meru's own fate, beamed at her and in her impulsive way threw her arms around both of them.
"Oh Mother, Father, of course I could! It's what I always wanted. Thank you! Oh, thank you!"
She was so young. But what had been said two years ago was still true, and this way, at least one world would be open to her.
"I will miss your red hair," Meru said wistfully, and took the long braid into her hands.
The boys were somewhat disturbed when they saw their sister again. But the doctor treating Meru, a Bajoran scientist named Tora Naprem, quickly distracted them by offering to show them the new discovery of Dr. Mora's everyone was talking about, a strange substance that could change its shape. When they were gone, Meru, the pain in her body somewhat lessened by all the medication and the sight of Nerys and Dukat smiling at her, stretched out both hands to them, and they knelt down beside her.
"Are you happy, Nerys?" Meru asked, looking at her daughter's gray face with the faint blue spot in the middle, the black hair falling down, elegantly braided, the neck ridges forming a curve as Nerys laid down her head in her mothers' lap.
"It's Iliana now," Nerys murmured. "But yes, I am. If you get better soon."
Over her head, so familiar and yet so strange in its Cardassian shape, Meru's and Dukat's eyes met.
"It might not be possible, my darling," Meru said gently. "But you will have your father to look after you."
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-15 06:04 am (UTC)After some time of reading your interesting DS9 reviews and really good fanfiction I finally wanted to come out of lurking by telling you that your Five Things....series is just great!
Kira/Dukat has such an interesting dynamic and tension and you have captured it so well in your stories, so very believable.
I like all of them and I must say that with this last part you bring the series to a worthy end (and give it a good twist on the point-of-view-thing!).
Greetings, Py.
thank you!
Date: 2004-03-15 09:11 am (UTC)They do, which is why this challenge of Sabine's was so irresistable to me and which is why I didn't want to write just one story to answer it but chose the "Five Things" format.
and give it a good twist on the point-of-view-thing!
Fair is fair. They each had their two turns.*g*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-15 07:15 am (UTC)I must admit that after reading the first line I was afraid to death that you would have Dukat rape a child Nerys, or something equally horrifying.
It's a fantastic series you've written.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-15 09:24 am (UTC)The darkness in this case comes from our canon knowledge that this Kira Nerys does everything "our" Kira Nerys would regard as the ultimate horror, and not in an Evil Intendant Mirrorverse way. She's turned her back on the Bajorans, wants to be Cardassian and genuinenly loves Dukat, but for a girl raised by him, under those circumstances, that's logical.
I must admit that after reading the first line I was afraid to death that you would have Dukat rape a child Nerys
Shudder. No. Even when the show went to extremes post-Waltz to show us that Dukat was completely, absolutely, irredeemably EEEEEEVIL, they didn't pull that one. Mind you, I can see some subconscious oedipal tension between Dukat and grown Nerys in this scenario (and I also think she would have beeen jealous as hell once he started his affair with Naprem), but that's all. He probably never would have acted on it or even realized but have continued treating her as his daughter. And probably one of the few things even seventh season Dukat couldn't be accused of is being a paedophile.
However, that doesn't mean he doesn't do something very wrong here. Firstly, going back to canon, he is responsible for creating the situation in which Meru became separated from her husband and children and forced into a situation where she was forced to become a prostitute to begin with. (The fact that he's nice to Meru and manipulates her into loving him is beside the point.) Secondly, as mentioned earlier, AU!Nerys gets her ideas about Cardassians and Bajorans from him, and you could call it brainwashing, except that Dukat is sincere and believes every word himself. Which doesn't make the idea of raising a Bajoran child to regard her people as inferior criminals, and to long for another identity more right.
Incidentally, this is of course my answer to the question: is it possible to write a story in which Kira (Nerys) and Dukat love each other truly and sincerely and develop it from a plausible point in canon? Well, yes. (Nobody said it would have to be romantic love.*g*) But at a high price.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-16 02:09 am (UTC)I need to read more Kira hurt fic, I think.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-16 06:43 am (UTC)And I've made it my mission to prove that there is great Ferengi angst...
Great sequence
Date: 2004-03-15 02:37 pm (UTC)And a lovely comment about Dukat, relatives and lovers in the previous episode. Somehow that sums up the debates over whether a lot of characters are really redeemed.
I'm still glad that Nana Visitor put her foot down, though. I wish the leading lady of a certain other series had had the same intelligence and self-confidence in a similar situation...
Thank you!
Date: 2004-03-15 10:12 pm (UTC)When I originally saw Waltz, I honestly thought we were to assume Sisko in his final pronouncement was mistaken, going as it did agains the "shades of grey" concept which DS9 otherwise treasures. Well, obviously I later realised that no, we were to take it that Canon Had Spoken.
And a lovely comment about Dukat, relatives and lovers in the previous episode. Somehow that sums up the debates over whether a lot of characters are really redeemed.
Admittedly I was thinking about certain Jossverse debates here.*g*
I'm still glad that Nana Visitor put her foot down, though.
Oh, me too. Her putting her foot down had nothing to do with the writers going the EEEEEEVIL route with Dukat; they could have easily kept the UST just that, UST, and continued with Dukat in shades of grey. My ideal version of DS9 would have given Dukat Damar's storyline. Admittedly then we wouldn't have had Damar, who was an interesting character in his own right, but it would have fit with season pre-Waltz Dukat.
Anyway, yes; an onscreen affair between Kira and Dukat would have either demanded to put Kira in a Buffy-in-season-6-depression mindframe, which I can't see Behr & Co. doing, or to play down the immense and massive obstacles in a way that wouldn't ring true to her character.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-15 07:32 pm (UTC)And I like the mention of Odo.
again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-15 10:03 pm (UTC)Yes, that is exactly what I was intending to be disturbing. As I said to
I like how Napreem is a doctor in this one-- I'm pretty sure there isn't any canon about it, but it's a nice lead in.
As far as I'm aware of, there is no canon whatsoever on what Naprem did for a living before meeting Dukat. It's interesting that Ziyal has artistic gifts, which, considering that Meru was originally an icon painter, I think one fanfic has used to postulate that Naprem and Meru were really one and the same, just with Meru given another identity for whatsoever reason, but that's too much of a Victorian Novel kind of stretch for me. Hence the doctor idea.
And I like the mention of Odo.
I hoped you would having put it in especially for you.
Re: again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-15 10:16 pm (UTC)As far as I'm aware of, there is no canon whatsoever on what Naprem did for a living before meeting Dukat. It's interesting that Ziyal has artistic gifts, which, considering that Meru was originally an icon painter, I think one fanfic has used to postulate that Naprem and Meru were really one and the same, just with Meru given another identity for whatsoever reason, but that's too much of a Victorian Novel kind of stretch for me. Hence the doctor idea.
There isn't, as far as I know. I happen to like the fanwank that Meru and Naprem are the same person, if only because then Ziyal and Nerys are halfsibs. Plus, the artistic thing. But I realize that the idea is a little farfetched. (Not as crazy as Tasha Yar though...) But the idea of Naprem as a doctor is also interesting, if only because the only educated Bajoran we know of who lived through the Resistance is Mora. (I'm Mora's only fangirl.)
You know what else is good, that I forgot to prop for? The tie-ins to Second Skin.
Re: again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-15 11:48 pm (UTC)Mora: had an intriguing relationship with Odo. I did like those episodes. But I would argue that all the Vedeks we're shown also qualify as "educated" Bajorans. (I take it Winn's ability to read ancient texts isn't something your avarage uneducated Bajoran picks up.) Also, Garak mentions that the Cardassians expected the Bajorans to keep computer records (in the episode "Cardassians"), which again necessitates a certain level of education. And then there is Dukat quoting a Bajoran philosopher fluently and by name in "Indiscretion", to Kira's visible bewilderment.
(Yes, presumably Naprem told him. But someone must have taught her.)
Lastly, didn't Odo refer to "the scientists" plural, not just to Mora singular? Granted, all the others could have been Cardassians, but I don't think that's likely.
I always assumed that the Cardassians probably did what a lot of empires/dictatorships do in their occupied territories - use all the local resources available, which would include the local brains, which necessessitates permitting them to have an education. Full of ordered indoctrination of course, but with the necessary facts.
Second Skin tie-ins: it was one of my favourite episodes. I was fascinated to learn through the DVDS that originally, they had planned on letting the episode end by Bashir telling Kira that he couldn't acertain anymore whether she had been originally a Bajoran (i.e. Kira Nerys) or a Cardassian (i.e. Iliana), and that Kira would then decide it didn't matter anymore, Kira Nerys was who she wanted to be.
"What makes a person" is always a great subject to explore, and it's of course a question in my Five Things, especially in the last one, as well.
Re: again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-16 12:03 am (UTC)On the Changeling Virus, initially the fact that he created it was canon, but now it's kind of a nebulous thing, since they drastically rewrote the Odo-cure episode.
And of course, by educated, I meant the sort of Bajorans that would be working in the university system. Undoubtedly the Vedeks are well educated. And possible they even get degrees before joining a sect (I say so because many of them were seen working as archiologists.) But I like to think that theology is a seperate sort of matter from the sciences and technology.
Anyhow, my point was really that of the Bajorans we meet, aside from the Vedeks and theologians, Mora's about the only one who presumably has a really super education. (And probably Odo as well.) And that's kinda interesting to me. Mora in general, is interesting.
I've always been impressed that Kira is as well-educated as she is, considering her schooling.
Re: again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-16 06:51 am (UTC)Wow. I never thought of that, but it makes complete sense. Ouch. So where is the Mora angst fic from you exploring it?
Anyhow, my point was really that of the Bajorans we meet, aside from the Vedeks and theologians, Mora's about the only one who presumably has a really super education. (And probably Odo as well.) And that's kinda interesting to me. Mora in general, is interesting.
Here's an anology which suddenly occured to me: Mora as our universe's answer to the Jennifer Sisko of the Mirrorverse? (And incidentally, how come Odo looked the same there anyway because that would have necessitated a Mora to model himself on?)
Re: again, thank you!
Date: 2004-03-16 02:27 pm (UTC)A really good question. Possibly I've just never come up with the right way to get Odo and Mora in the same room, post Dogs of War.
Here's an anology which suddenly occured to me: Mora as our universe's answer to the Jennifer Sisko of the Mirrorverse? (And incidentally, how come Odo looked the same there anyway because that would have necessitated a Mora to model himself on?)
I need to refresh myself on the Mirror!Jennifer story, but the plot is that she's a human scientist working with the Bajoran occupation because she's a collaborator? Like Mora in that regard?
no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 05:05 am (UTC)The wrap up to your 'Five Things...' was both creepy and compelling, all in all a great end.
well...
Date: 2004-03-18 01:12 am (UTC)And thank you.*g*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 03:01 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-18 01:19 am (UTC)Re: Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-19 12:09 pm (UTC)Re: Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-19 06:36 pm (UTC)I have to agree a confrontation with Kira would have been more appropriate oh well*shrugs*
Re: Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-19 09:38 am (UTC)Re: Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-19 12:07 pm (UTC)Re: Glad you liked it!
Date: 2004-03-19 06:38 pm (UTC)frankly I think it would have had the opposite reaction but what do i know =P