Babylon 5 silliness
Sep. 14th, 2004 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
selenakI got my assignment for the Rygelthon, which looks like an interesting challenge. I'll need to rewatch some season 3 episodes of Farscape though (oh, the hardship!), which reminds me that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bimo still has most of my CDs.
Also, being a beta ofandrastewhite's Londo/G'Kar post-show WIP Sinister is truly rewarding. It's excellent and I pity you mortals who have to wait till Andraste finally finishes the epic.*g* Now, while her saga is angsty and snarky and wonderful and definitely not a parody, it nonetheless inspired the following silliness from me. Set in the fourth season of Babylon 5. Ever wonder what those Centauri Palace Guards were thinking?
The Very Secret Diary of a Centauri Palace Guard
translated to human standard by Luc Deradi
2260: Bought new wig for off-duty hours. V.v. dashing, if expensive. Wish could wear all the time to impress Court ladies, but helmet not negotiable when in Emperor's service.
Had to escort Emperor's gift for Ambassador Mollari to throne room. Gift turned out to be Narn with bad body odour and fixation on asking for directions. If self were Mollari, would return gift and ask for quick decapitation instead.
Had to clean up skin remnants of human named Morden again. V.v. annoying. Wonder whether should recommend oil or salt bath treatment?
Escorted Ambassador Mollari & aide to v. v. secret imperial torture chamber. Wonder who represents Republic when both here? Aide looking quite sick; asks Mollari "do you think they know?" Wonder if aide practising new forbidden Minbari diet. Would explain constant weight loss. Might have to enquire myself; uniform sitting tight this month.
Representative of Guild of Pain Technicians complaining to me about too much working hours and too little spare time these days; considers going on strike. Wished him luck but do not believe in success. Emperor Cartagia v.v. right wing.
Escorted Mollari to prison cell with Narn in it for fourth or fifth time in a row. Do not understand kink with cells, chains and v.v. bloody Narn. Cost of private laundry service must be tremendous. Or maybe M. charges Royal Palace? Am outraged at thought of abuse of privilege in time of war.
Trip to Narn uneventful. V.v. dull planet, though; mostly rocks. Emperor ordered self to practice drums. Worried that will have to service at next dancing party. Stage fright.
Drums turning out to be needed for political procession. V.v. relieved, as Narns less critical audience. Was approached by Amb. Mollari and told to change gift's chains. Was tempted to tell him off; indulgence of kink at public expense going too far. As M. produced contribution for Palace Guards Orphans fund, abstained from complaint.
Time on Narn thankfully cut short; Emperor dead. Nice fireworks thoughtfully arranged by local population. Had to deliver several bottles to Mollari's aide; requirement of new diet, since aide was looking more haggard than usual? Diet not suited for self then; brivari too expensive if no salary raise.
Escorted Mr. Morden to throne room. Carpet of same then ruined by sudden target practice ordered by new Prime Minister. Wonder if Mollari a tad unstable? Morden, wondering same thing, was put in old prison cell of badly smelling Narn who has remained on dull planet. New kink?
Found Aide strolling through garden, then standing in front of pike with head of Morden. Evidently new kink grew old v. v. quickly. Aide looking better, though; started gymnastics in front of pike by waving exercise.
Wonder if self could use hair of head for new wig?
bimo still has most of my CDs.Also, being a beta of
andrastewhite's Londo/G'Kar post-show WIP Sinister is truly rewarding. It's excellent and I pity you mortals who have to wait till Andraste finally finishes the epic.*g* Now, while her saga is angsty and snarky and wonderful and definitely not a parody, it nonetheless inspired the following silliness from me. Set in the fourth season of Babylon 5. Ever wonder what those Centauri Palace Guards were thinking? The Very Secret Diary of a Centauri Palace Guard
translated to human standard by Luc Deradi
2260: Bought new wig for off-duty hours. V.v. dashing, if expensive. Wish could wear all the time to impress Court ladies, but helmet not negotiable when in Emperor's service.
Had to escort Emperor's gift for Ambassador Mollari to throne room. Gift turned out to be Narn with bad body odour and fixation on asking for directions. If self were Mollari, would return gift and ask for quick decapitation instead.
Had to clean up skin remnants of human named Morden again. V.v. annoying. Wonder whether should recommend oil or salt bath treatment?
Escorted Ambassador Mollari & aide to v. v. secret imperial torture chamber. Wonder who represents Republic when both here? Aide looking quite sick; asks Mollari "do you think they know?" Wonder if aide practising new forbidden Minbari diet. Would explain constant weight loss. Might have to enquire myself; uniform sitting tight this month.
Representative of Guild of Pain Technicians complaining to me about too much working hours and too little spare time these days; considers going on strike. Wished him luck but do not believe in success. Emperor Cartagia v.v. right wing.
Escorted Mollari to prison cell with Narn in it for fourth or fifth time in a row. Do not understand kink with cells, chains and v.v. bloody Narn. Cost of private laundry service must be tremendous. Or maybe M. charges Royal Palace? Am outraged at thought of abuse of privilege in time of war.
Trip to Narn uneventful. V.v. dull planet, though; mostly rocks. Emperor ordered self to practice drums. Worried that will have to service at next dancing party. Stage fright.
Drums turning out to be needed for political procession. V.v. relieved, as Narns less critical audience. Was approached by Amb. Mollari and told to change gift's chains. Was tempted to tell him off; indulgence of kink at public expense going too far. As M. produced contribution for Palace Guards Orphans fund, abstained from complaint.
Time on Narn thankfully cut short; Emperor dead. Nice fireworks thoughtfully arranged by local population. Had to deliver several bottles to Mollari's aide; requirement of new diet, since aide was looking more haggard than usual? Diet not suited for self then; brivari too expensive if no salary raise.
Escorted Mr. Morden to throne room. Carpet of same then ruined by sudden target practice ordered by new Prime Minister. Wonder if Mollari a tad unstable? Morden, wondering same thing, was put in old prison cell of badly smelling Narn who has remained on dull planet. New kink?
Found Aide strolling through garden, then standing in front of pike with head of Morden. Evidently new kink grew old v. v. quickly. Aide looking better, though; started gymnastics in front of pike by waving exercise.
Wonder if self could use hair of head for new wig?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:49 am (UTC)Please, please, do not make her give them back! I still haven't watched all of them, since she is not willing, understandably enough, to lend them to me, but also does not copy the things ;-)
F.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 10:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 10:28 am (UTC);-)) Well basically she can send everything you want (who am I to allow things ;-) ), they are your CDs after all :-)). And she has a good CD burner anyhow, hasn't she? ;-)
;-))
F.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:05 pm (UTC)F.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:51 pm (UTC)Foolish Duisburg Girl!
Honouring the worthy cause of fanfic research .... ;-)
Date: 2004-09-17 12:25 am (UTC)In the hope that this compromise will satisfy both of the quarreling parties ;-)
B.
Re: Honouring the worthy cause of fanfic research .... ;-)
Date: 2004-09-17 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 10:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 10:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 11:15 am (UTC)And I love Secret Diaries! You know, one day we should do a The Secret Diaries of Babylon 5 - a - thon. Or something like that ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:54 pm (UTC)One day we should, but not today, to misquote another show. I signed up for both the Rygelthon and the Londothon and have RL stuff to do... but it sure would be fun.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 11:24 am (UTC)(The Very Secret Diary of Mr Morden ...)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 12:55 pm (UTC)You're most welcome.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:41 pm (UTC)Escorted Mollari to prison cell with Narn in it for fourth or fifth time in a row. Do not understand kink with cells, chains and v.v. bloody Narn. Cost of private laundry service must be tremendous. Or maybe M. charges Royal Palace?
*giggles*
You know, Londo would make the palace pay his laundry bill. And I'm sure that's what the guards (and anyone else who knew where Londo was) thought was going on.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:54 pm (UTC)You know, now I wonder whether instead of the Bridget Jones approach, I shouldn't have gone for Terry Prattchet instead.*g*
You know, Londo would make the palace pay his laundry bill. And I'm sure that's what the guards (and anyone else who knew where Londo was) thought was going on.
He would, and they would....
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 06:57 pm (UTC)Ahaha. Yay.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 08:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 10:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 10:22 am (UTC)Hee. Good question. And the chains being a kink? Muah!
Yep, things like this do happen to your mind after writing so much angst. *g* *points to Vir's Adventures in Wonderland*
no subject
Date: 2004-09-15 01:00 pm (UTC)