selenak

Inspired by recent events, I decided to compile the Definite Merlin Episode Guide. Freely available for any website and network that does not want to take the trouble of watching the show first. I swear every episode description is entirely accurate! From, as Obi-Wan Kenobi would say, a certain point of view.

1.1. The Dragon’s Call: Merlin arrives in Camelot, kills a grieving mother and thus gets offered a new job.

1.2. Valiant: Gwen teaches Merlin how to dress and undress Arthur.

1.3. The Mark of Nimueh: Uther exhibits the first sign of his flower phobia by having Gwen arrested after she brought Morgana a floral arrangement. Elsewhere, Arthur rudely interrupts Merlin’s public coming out.

1.4. The Poisoned Chalice: Arthur risks everything to bring Merlin a flower; Uther’s phobia strikes again, and he puts Arthur in prison as well. But it’s Gwen who ends up with the bloom!

1.5. Lancelot: Everyone wants Lancelot. In an effort to uphold public morale, Uther banishes him.

1.6. A Remedy to cure all Ills: Uther trades in Gaius for a younger boytoy. Gaius reciprocates by trading in Uther for Merlin.

1.7. The Gates of Avalon: A loving father sacrifices all to ensure his daughter’s survival. Merlin kills them both.

1.8. The Beginning of the End: Merlin takes in a cute young orphan, panics, and dumps him on Morgana. But it’s Arthur who is left holding the child!

1.9. Excalibur: Nimueh reunites Uther with his brother-in-law. Arthur, however, is barred from the family reunion.

1.10. The Moment of Truth: Merlin’s mother comes to Camelot and tries to start a war by getting Uther to invade another country.

1.11. The Labyrinth of Gedref: Camelot cuisine gets experimental. Merlin makes a very unconvincing animal rights activists as he protests the death of a unicorn but ruthlessly executes a rat.

1.12. To Kill the King: The death of Gwen’s father offers Uther and Morgana the occasion for a heartwarming trip to the countryside.

1.13. Le Morte d’Arthur: Nimueh and the Dragon offer Merlin the opportunity to commit matricide.

2.1. The Curse of Cornelius Sigan: Merlin takes radical measures to escape the threat of unemployment.

2.2. The Once and Future Queen: Her first experience as a Bed & Breakfast landlady makes Gwen rethink her options.

2.3. The Nightmare Begins: Morgana takes another trip to the countryside. Not to be left out, Merlin and Arthur follow.

2.4. Lancelot and Guinevere: Gwen tries out roleplay and bondage, and Lancelot enthusiastically joins. Elsewhere, Arthur applies face cream to Merlin.

2.5. Beauty and the Beast I: Uther embarks on a heartwarming interspecies romance.

2.6. Beauty and the Beast II: As all of Camelot rejects Catrina based on her looks, Uther remains faithful and only thinks of adding to her fortune.

2.7. The Witchfinder: After yet another attempt to come out in public is prevented by Arthur, a frustrated Merlin frames an old friend of Uther’s and puts a toad through a truly terrifying ordeal.

2.8. The Sins of the Father: It’s family fun time all around as Morgause and Morgana visit each other’s bedchambers, Arthur meets his mother and later indulges in some physical exercise with Uther.

2.9. The Lady of the Lake: Merlin tries out one of Morgana’s dresses. Gwen and Arthur approve.

2.10. Sweet Dreams: A visiting king constantly abuses his servant, and nobody in Camelot intervenes.

2.12. The Witch’s Quickening: A crystal provides the occasion for several more merry trips to the countryside for Morgana, Merlin and Arthur.

2.12. The Fires of Idirsholas: Morgause makes a much misunderstood attempt to cure general insomnia in Camelot for good, involving Morgana. One of Gaius’ potions comes in handy.

2.13. The Last Dragonlord: Merlin’s father is discovered but turns out to have gone to extreme lengths to avoid his paternal responsibilities. Arthur and Merlin test each other’s vocabulary and share a pillow.

No wizards, dragons or Camelot present and future royalty were harmed in in the production of this episode guide.