In recent days, I joked around with
andrastewhite about how the Jossverse teaches people how
not to deal with depression. She's going to post the list of
Buffy-derived lessons on depression while I wrote the
Angel list.
So:
All I know about how not to deal with depression, I learned from Angel: The Series :
If I am depressed...
- I will not hit on attractive blonde women in an alley
- I will not go anywhere near my father
- or my mother figure, especially if she also used to be my lover
- I will not lock a bunch of lawyers in a room so they can be eaten
- I will not fire my employees and play lone avenger
- I will not ignore voicemail messages in favour of having sex
- though having sex with the woman I'm obsessed about might cure me of the depression, so I can throw her out and return to my friends
- I will not make a pact with a time-travelling demon
- I will not try to decypher prophecies on my own
- I will talk with my co-workers about terrible prophecies, instead of talking with my friend's arch-nemesis
- I might even consider talking to my friend about said terrible prophecies
- I will not try black magic; that never ends well
- I will not start a hot and dysfunctional relationship with a woman whose job it is to make the world a worse place
- I will not keep a slavegirl in a closet
- I will not have sex with my almost-boyfriend's son
- I will not kick my son out of my home just when he's finally ready to talk to me, even if he has had sex with my almost-girlfriend
- I will not believe prostitutes offer sex for free; this spares me humilation
- I will not obsess about my girlfriend and my former friend
- I will not get the bright idea of bringing back the evil psychotic version of my fearless leader
- I will not try to commit suicide by blowing myself and a lot of other people up
- I will not let my sleep be taken away and start talking with my mirror
- I will also not sleep overly long without asking someone trustworthy to monitor me
- I will not ask my father figure for a purpose unless I have a death wish
- I will not shoot employees in the kneecaps, or knife my co-worker
- though I will bond with a blue goddess who looks like the woman I loved, because otherwise I would be even more unstable
- I will not let my fearless leader talk me into assassinating people for him
- I will ask that my private airplane be supplied with larger bottles,so I can get genuinenly drunk.